NEVER GO AWAY.

A YOUNG MAN AND AN OLDER WOMAN IN LONDON FOR A WEEKEND IN 1975.

And there was that small room with a bathroom attached just off Trafalgar Square said Netanya and it had been booked by Benedict to go to after the show in a theatre near Victoria Station and my husband at that time said where are you going? and I said to London to see a show and what time will you be back? Sunday afternoon I said youre staying over night? he said yes I said who are you going with? he asked thats my business I said and anyway when the Saturday came for me to go I met Benedict at the station he had been waiting anxiously in case I couldnt get away and I had a small overnight bag with my change of clothes in and wash stuff and he had a duffel bag and I said well here I am and he said wasnt sure youd get away and I said well he was suspicious but thats his problem and we got on the train to London and it was our first time together away from our local sites and he was looking at me and I think he was conscious for the first time of our age differences I was his senior by thirteen years and it didnt seemed to show in our own town but now out of the area it did seem to show a bit but I put it out of my head and hoped I was up to the challenge not having regular sex for some time and my husband at that time wasnt up to much at least not with me- he had had sex with anyone else between sixteen to sixty but me no it was sparse and anyway I was glad at the time thinking I didnt want to catch anything he may have caught from some slag- and we sat and talked and Benedict talked of Sartre and Camus but I didnt know who they were so just pretended I did and about existentialism and such words he went on about but it was him I watched not his words they swept over me like water in the sea and I was glad we were away and I thought briefly what the kids might be doing with me not around over the next day but theyd cope after all a woman has to live her life when she can and what chance would I have again and I recalled the first time I met Benedict and he was introduced to me at the workplace and I thought to myself hes a bit of all right and he smiled and I was kind of blown away but I knew he was having it off with another who had no luggage with her but then that blew away and I thought now is my chance and this was it and once the train entered Victoria Station and we got out and it seemed like a whole new world with so many people and we were just two people in sea of humanity and we saw the show at the time it said and sat and watched the show and I was aware of him beside me and thought about afterwards at the room he had booked and what it would be like and would I be able to perform after all it wasnt as though I had sex often and apart from my then husband and a boy back in the early 1950s I was not quite that expertise at sex or so I thought much as I liked what I had had but Benedict was younger and seemed quite a one with the girls and I thought it maybe a big let down and Id be shown to be just a woman in her middle age crisis stage but after the show which was quite good we got a taxi to the address Benedict had shown the driver and in no time we were there and we got in the door and the woman looked at us as we booked in and I thought She looked at me with a stern eye but we didnt care she showed us the room and left us to it shutting the door behind us and telling us if we wanted the gas fire on we would need to put 50p in the meter each time it went out so I found a 50p coin and put it in the slot and turned on the gas fire and it roared into life and we looked around the room and I looked into the bathroom and it had a  big deep bath and I thought that will come in handy later and I showed Benedict and he said we can bath together and I thought I have never bathed with anyone else before and he said theres always a first time for everything  then we looked at the bed and sat on it and bounced on it and it seemed all right if a little bit hard but it would do us Benedict said so what now? he said and I said well why waste time and began to undress first by taking off my coat and then my cardigan and he watched at first uncertain and I thought hes been put off about this after all and I got as far as my blouse when he took off his jacket and I watched him and he took off his tie and then we both seemed to race the other to undress first and it was like being a teenager again rather than a forty year old woman with a thirteen year younger man and I was right down to my underwear and bra and he was completely bare and stood there and then climbed into bed and waited for me and I took off what else I had on and we were both in bed naked and it was so strange so surreal and I couldnt believe I was actually there with him and he lay there beside me looking at me and he switched off the bedside lamp and we were in the semi-dark except for the flashing on and off of neon lights and street light outside in the street and then he kissed me and his hands were on my thighs and I was unsure if I was doing the right thing but then I though O to hell with it and kissed him more and we going at it quite strong and I didn't realise how much I never knew and how much I enjoyed what I was learning and once we had done we lay back and I looked at the room and felt him beside me and breathed in the air and him and my scent and the sounds of London out there and after that we were at it again and again until it seemed we were never going to stop and the we bathed together and I felt so young again and then we slept and had sex and bathed again and then it was morning and we left the room and the woman looked at us and I winked at her and she looked away and it was a day that day never to go from my mind never go go away.