SOPHIA AND AFTER.

A YOUNG MAN AND A POLISH GIRL CLEANER IN 1969.

I sat opposite Sophia
in the staff room

she crossed her legs
looked at me
smiled
her eyes twinkling

O I know
I thought
I know what this
is all about

but the others
in the staff room
didn't know
(thank God)
they chatted
amongst themselves
as women do
(I was the only male
in the nursing home)

but Sophia had that look
that look that said
I nearly had you
in that old guy's
bed upstairs
just now
nearly kurwa
as she
would have said

I sipped my tea
and ate the cake
cook had left

it had been
a near thing
the way Sophia
had thrown me
on the bed
with all her
Polish determination

I had to struggle
(yes struggle-
what was wrong
with me?)
off the bed

you not like me?
she said

course I do
but not here
not now
I had said

she uncrossed
her legs
then crossed
them again slowly
wanting me to look

but I looked
at the teapot
cheap
battered
steam pouring
from the spout

you want more?
Sophia said
across the room
more tea?

I shook my head
and all looked
at her
then at me.