SPOIL HER FUN.

A BOY AND GIRL IN THE COUNTRYSIDE IN 1961 WITH DIFFERENT WANTS AND DESIRES.

Lizbeth insisted
on us going
to the small church again

we walked
as she had parked
her bike
by the shed door
at the back
of the cottage

it seems longer
when you walk it
she said

same length
different speed
I said

she'd put on
her short black dress
for some reason
not fitting
for this kind
of countryside
her shoes had mud
on them already
where a tractor
had deposited it
all along
the narrow road

don't you have
buses here?
she asked

once a week
I said
Saturdays
2 hours
to do your shopping
in town
then back

2 hours?
she said
I need longer
than that to shop

that's all there is
I said

I hate the countryside
she said
the smell
the quiet
the emptiness
the silly blue sky
and those puffy
white clouds
she seemed annoyed
Benny
how do you stick it?

it's ok
I like it
it has a sense
of peace here
and there are birds
to study and butterflies

O my god
Lizbeth said
I’d die
of boredom here
you'd find me stiff
in some corn field
or whatever s**t
grows in these fields

we walked on
in a uneasy silence
for a while

what's she like?
Lizbeth said

who?
I asked

that girl
who lives near you
the girl with
the long straight black hair
and a face like a virgin

I knew who she meant
but I said nothing
but pretended
not to know
she lives near me?
I said

yes
well she gets on
your school van
in the mornings
and afternoons
always dresses
like she's going
to a funeral
I see her
in the girl's playground
little Miss No Mates

O you mean Jane
I said
she's good
we have long walks together
and she knows a lot
about nature and birds
and butterflies and beetles
and so on

you walk with her?
Lizbeth said

sure
we often go for walks
when its fine and warm

what do you do?
is she up for it?

up for what?

you know
sex?
Lizbeth spat out
the last word
as if
it were too hot
for her tongue

we don't think
about that
kind of thing
I said

Lizbeth looked at me
with raised eyebrows
thought not
she said

we walked up
the narrow lane
to the church
sunlight warming
our heads and backs

if the church is empty
maybe we can
she said

can what?
I said

you know
have S E X

I looked
at the church
appearing above
the hedgerow
and hoped to God
someone was there
some visitor
or vicar
or anyone
to save my day
and stop her fun.