JANE AND APPLES.

A BOY AND GIRL ON A FARM IN A HAY BARN IN 1961 OUT OF THE RAIN

The hay barn was warm
and silent
and it was out
of the rain

and we could look out
and see the rain
falling heavily
on the land outside

just in time
Jane said
we would
have got drenched

I smelt the farm
from where we were
the cows
the dung

the air
birds outside calling
we came in here
once before

I said
she looked at me
then back
into the interior

of the barn
yes I know
but we weren’t
alone then

the other kids
made it seem
more a playground
than a place

we could be
on our own
I caught a glimpse
of her grey dress

the wellington boots
her dark hair damp
from the sudden downpour  
barns have their own

particular smell
I said
she looked at me
with her dark blue eyes

best not
let the cowmen
see us in here
or tongues will talk

she said
what about?
I said
seeing rooks take off

from the tops
of the tall trees
a boy and girl
in a hay barn

gives people
the wrong impression
of matters
I sensed an apple smell

freshly picked
what impression?
you know
that those two people

are doing things
I looked at the grey sky
the Downs were
greying green

kissing?
I said
that and other things
she said shyly

the cowman’s daughter
up the lane
is pregnant
and they came in here

I thought now
that the apple smell
came from her
fresh apple scent

I breathed her in secretly
I heard about that
my mother said something
to my father over dinner

in hushed talk
but I heard them
what’s that
got to do with us?

I said
taking the apples
in my mind
and holding them

in my hands
wanting to bite
into each
nothing as long

as we’re just being us
and not otherwise
my mother likes you
Jane said

she has a good eye
for people
I nodded
uncertain what to say

still it rained
and there was
the strong smell
of warm hay