WHOM TO LOVE

A BOY AND GIRL AND LOVE OF A SUNDAY IN 1962

Outside the church
after the Sunday service
after singing
in the choir

Judith followed you
out of the vestry
into the daylight
amongst the gravestones

at the back
of the church
where she stood
looking around her

with you at her side
you oughtn’t to have done that
she said
what?

you said
put that button
in the collection box
when it came around

the choir stalls
I left my collection money
in my coat pocket
you said

but a button
she said
better to have put nothing in
than that

a black bird settled
on the top
of a gravestone nearby
then flew off

you’re right
you said
I ought not
to have put it in I’m sorry

it’s not me
you have to say sorry to
Judith said
it’s God

whom you defrauded
she turned
and looked at you
with her big blue eyes

and that look she had
when she was disappointed
anyway
she said

I still love you despite
you defrauding God
of his collection pence
come on you two

her sister called
from the side
of the church
aren’t you coming home

the bus will be here soon
ok we’re coming
Judith called back
her sister and yours disappeared

and you said
I don’t deserve you
or your love
no you don’t

she said
but there you are
when can we ever choose
whom to love

we either love
or we don’t and I do
and she kissed your cheek  
and took your hand

and you walked
by the gravestones
along the narrow pathway
by the side

of the church
and I love you too
you said
softly walking

through the midst
of the buried
and dead.