So Can you?

Hey!

Hey!

Listen up

Listen to the words that reside within you.

Your soul is speaking out to you.

Stop

And listen.

It is trying to guide you.

Can you handle it?

Can you handle what you are about to see?

What you are about to hear?

Tell me!

Can you handle,

Facing the true you?

Well?!

CAN YOU!

Author's Note

Trying something new hope you like it.
~Resnera

Reviews

[Azriel]

res, i love this one, the message here is great and is one that should be considered by everyone... facing our true selves is something we must come to terms with and face... also i think the "aggressive" tone of this piece further emphasizes the importance of the message, showing how drastic it really, it also makes the content more dramatic and adds a sense of urgency... which is necessary considering the message you spoke on here.

[Augustus]

This poem asks a universal philosophical question in an extremely brash, rude and in-your-face manner. And I mean that in a positive way. It is almost as if you are trying to grab the reader by his shoulder, shake him up big time, slap him a few times and make him look in the mirror. So it packs a serious punch. 10/10 for impact.

On the negative side, I have to agree with Pete Langley. The aggression in the poem is not balanced by the nuances that one looks for in poetry, which is why it'll make a good slogan or a poster, but doesn't quite deliver as a poem. In poetry, there are always those special lines that one looks for, the ones that make a lasting impression. With the tone that you have adopted, it doesn't leave a lot of room for those sort of lines.

But I truly appreciate your inventiveness. If you are adventurous, you'll unearth some real gems in due course of time. I'm sure you will. Keep writing! :)

[Terohime]

Indeed i will keep writing, Thanks for the review.
~Res

[Baby Ricochet]

But I have more than one true me. Which one would you like to see? I'll tell ya what. You seem a compassionate, peaceful soul so I'll just keep being polite to you. You deserve at least that much. Thank you Res. You're a credit to the WC.

[Terohime]

Dear Baby Ricochet,

We all have multiple true mes. XD and thanks for the Lovely comment.
~Res

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Resnera

I thought it was time I popped over to have a look at some of your writing.

I just picked this off the top of your list but look forward to coming back for more.

My style of reviewing is invariably long and can be quite detailed.

But what you will always get is an immediate reaction, an emotional and intellectual one, to the piece.

That in particular is important because you can see thereby (in what is really a private conversation between the writer and one reader who holds the book in their hands or the keypad / laptop on their knees) how you have impacted one person.

Of course that spark between writer and reader is always going to depend on the life experience of both dependent on the words on the page.

It is inevitable therefore we as writers may get many and varied reactions.

Piece of advice?

Never be put off by that! Rather watch and learn!

Any reaction (as long as properly expressed in a constructive and mannered fashion) is a good reaction as it helps the writer get an idea of how their writing impacts a wide audience.

What I think I will do here is actually invert the normal order of my reviews and do gut reaction first and detail after.

Here goes:

1) First impression / reaction even before I start reading.

The shape of the words on the page.

You have to take this as it comes Res, OK?

But as a one reader (me) the shape of the words on the page resembles a Joan of Arc Crucifix.

I shall show you an example below.

But what this should tell you is that a reader's response can be highly eclectic and personal. Copy and paste the link below into your browser and have a look and you will see what I mean.

http://www.wheresmyjewelry.com/productimages/lorraine/gfcu.jpg

2) You choose to colour the first and last lines as well as the first letter of each line in red. Often when people do that it is what some call acrostic.

Never mind the name, what it means is that if you read each of the letters at the start of each line highlighted as you here in red, you can actually read a set of other words or even a sentence which support or contrast the meaning of the piece.

Now I have no idea whether you have come across that notion or not.

How can I guess?

But all I can say is if you are doing that I cannot see any set of words forming if you simply pick up the red letters.

If you are not attempting to do that, instead it at the very least gives a colourful and original style to the piece and a flavour of the writer standing behind it.

It shows you are different; original; open to experiment. All good traits.

3) My favourite bit where I could spend hours thinking as well as writing about it.

And what is that you may ask?

Its message to the reader.

The extent to which it provokes thought.

The message is for the writer to own and the reader to guess.

However simple at face value, your proposition is actually hugely philosophical and the stuff of all time thought.

Let's put it this way, my way?

'Who am I?'

And if I can answer that question;

'Can I deal with and face up to it?'

You may take me shortly into book writing mode in this commentary. But this is all about identity.

Should anyone ever get to the bottom of my long-winded profile, you will see the whole concept debated there:

'There is the person we think we are. There is the person others think we are. And there is the person we really are,'

As little to nothing resides outside perception, the only person who might know who we really are is a creator as he / she made us.

But should there be no creator then no-one can or will ever know who we really are.

For me?

I have always been able to read people quite well.

It's a sort of empathy thing.

But to this day I still have absolutely no idea who I am. Maybe partly bipolar disorder, but I think it may be true of us all, there are just so many James Hanna-Magills in me, who run around every day, that I a not ever sure which of them is ME!

My take from your meaning? My personal response?

We at the very least need to look in the mirror in our minds and ask ourselves the question.

And if we ask ourselves the question, we need to ask ourselves whether we are doing good things or bad things; whether our role in life is to use or to give; to self-protect or protect; to be selfish or selfless; to wither and be stick in the mud or evolve and learn. All sorts of questions.

But the beginning of this is what you do here. Your final words:

"Tell me!
Can you handle,
Facing the true you?
Well?!
CAN YOU!'

Enough already as they say. Enough of the philosophy.

Moving on to technicalities:

a) Structure: Already dealt with. Unique. See above.

b) Rhymes: There aren't any and if there are, they aren't in any pattern. Problem? No it's freestyle where anything goes.

c) Grammar:

I believe 'with in' should be 'within' no gap.

'And listing'? Do you mean that or do you mean 'And listening?' Not sure. the latter makes more sense.

d) Repetition for effect: Lots and it's great. the endless pressing and reinforced question. 'Can you handle it?' and 'Can you?' to which the hidden answer is 'Yes you must! Deal with it!'

That's my review.

Thing is you won't get another review like this?

Why?

Because it's me?

And what is this?

It's your writing.

Thing is we won't get another piece of writing like this?

Why?

Because it's you?

Final thing:

Here's a piece I have on here which talks about what you talk about. It's all about perception, uniqueness, singularity and the power of multiplicity, us all together (Make the peace?)

Here it is:

I, You and We


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


"Within, I perceive my body, the world and you. You prove that I am.

Beauty resides in uniqueness, in you and me. We have never been before and will never be again. Freedom is our birthright and its misuse our damnation.

But together, in all that we may be, the flame of hope for our salvation burns more brightly still."

My parting thoughts.

If we ever think that our writing, anyone's writing does not have the power to move or make people think, then we are sadly mistaken.

However clichéd 'the pen is indeed mightier than the sword.'

You clearly have many talents Res, here as I can see in your writing. You have talent. Grow it. Write more. That is the only way to learn how to write. What you do here. Experiment.

One I am sure of your many other talents is exhibited in the 'Group' you have formed on this site.

Now here is a woman with many attributes and values.

My reaction for good or ill.

Good review?

Bad review?

Just a review?

No! Just my review.

Bravo!

Well written and original.

With my warmest regards

Your friend



James Hanna-Magill

[Terohime]

Wow thanks James ^^
I enjoy your reviews, they are true and full of info. Glad that you read my work.
~Res

[Haley Harrigan]

That's beautiful.

[Terohime]

Thanks.
~Res

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Walking with you in beauty. Splendid read and write.

[Pete Langley]

It`s a wake-up call to anyone who likes to kid themselves, that`s for sure, Resnera. It would make a good poster, too....but as a piece of poetry, for me, it lacks everything but punch. Sorry, love. Pete.

[Terohime]

It is ok ^^

I love reading your reviews. I felt like trying something new ^^
read moreIt is ok ^^

I love reading your reviews. I felt like trying something new ^^

Have a great day
~Res

[KeeD]

You say "stop and listing" did you mean "stop and listen" sweetheart?
I like this poem it's kinda of a tablet of goodness. Why I say tablet which can sometimes be perceived as something people don't wish to take but have to for the better good of themselves and others? because that's exactly what the poem speaks about. Can you face the truth, not many can :) I love the song "The Reason by Hoobastank" a very old band that created awesome music. Thanks for sharing this with us Res, xoxo Kee.

[icelandicblue]

This is very philosophical. Do we really know ourselves as well as we think? Asking hard questions can reap great rewards. Nicely done.

[Terohime]

Thanks ^^

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Interesting piece. I like the strong stance that you take with your writing; it is uniquely your own style. The idea of this one is also good. Some of the lines get a little choppy (with the long and the short), and in one line I think you meant to write "Stop/And Listening" instead of "Listing"? Overall, though, I enjoyed it!