F*g ash lil

F*g ash lil
Took a pill
For her thrill
Up until
It no longer impacted her brain
Alkie Ron
Turned her on
But by dawn
He was gone
As the bar doors were opening again
Why he goes
No one knows
I suppose
That he chose
Solitude from the rest of the pack
Left alone
She is prone
To bemoan
That her stone
Never lasts quite as long as his smack
Any pride
Left inside
Starts to slide
To provide
Emptiness with hole that it needs
Feeling small
In a shawl
She would bawl
F**k it all
In an overgrown garden of weeds
Blade on skin
To begin
Digging in
To the sin
Loneliness she mistakes for disgrace
Will god bless
Her success
If this mess
She'll confess
Or slam heavens door back in her face

Reviews

[barleygirl]

You've painted F*g-ash Lil as the tumbleweed hopelessly dependent on finding her next fix . . . assessing friends by how good their dope is & how generous they are with it. I felt the hopelessness as I read this . . . your rhyme & rhythm like the clunking, jarring refrain of how we can't get off this roller coaster (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Tepo]

thanks a lot Margie
Tumbleweed is a great description

[Paul Bell]

F*g ash Lil should be on every cigarette packet.
Strangely enough, you just know Lil and Ron will be together forever, even if forever is a couple of months.
Every bar has a Lil and Ron, well, at least every decent bar.

[Tepo]

Thanks very much Paul
Aye
On every packet would be great
And every decent bar
Grateful for your time comment
Ta

[Haley]

A heavy poem with great rhyme. It has great pacing and flows well, as well as using line breaks very smartly. :)

[Tepo]

Thank you Haley
Extremely grateful for your time and review.
Perhaps I should have mentioned in notes.
F*g where I come from is cigarette.
I realise now some readers may have another meaning.
Cheers

[Haley]

Thank you for clarifying, I was aware of that already! I don't think I brought that up in my review, but it could be good for others who don't know.