Galactic Love

Galactic Love

A Poem by Tenebrousoul
"

Passion as eternal as earth...

"
We lived like planets, 
Ensconced in our own gravity, 
Lonely , looming largely,
Into the vastness of empty space. 

We lived like planets, 
Ancient, Beautiful, Incomprehensible...
Slowly turning ever forward,
The gears of eternity grinds ever on.

A harsh, hot impact, 
The ground beneath us shakes,
The sweat of your body covers me,
A blessed union of celestial bodies, clear and easy to make

We lived like planets, 
Crashing into our sun.
Shooting stars twinkle,
Two become one. 


An eternal dance we share...

We lived like planets,
We passed close by, 
a whisper of connection and closeness,
before our orbit pulled us on our way again.

© 2011 Tenebrousoul


Author's Note

Tenebrousoul
I'm really happy about this one. Please give me critical feedback. This is a diamond in the rough. Thank you.

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Featured Review

This is a really beaqutiful piece. you portray this image of two becoming one so very well...The visual of these planets passing, almost not connecting, then the Coming together of soul-meld...I have a hard time coming up with any improvement, but you asked:) The only thing that could possibly heighten the impact of the metaphor might be to begin the poem in the past tense (We lived like planets) changing to presnt tense in the last stanza for a contrast? I dunno, though. The repetition almost serves to highlight that itself...

Lovely work~

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is very cool. I haven't come across a fusion of space and love; the title reminds me the Flock Of Seagulls song "Space Age Love Song". It's well written, your pacing and phrasing is nice, and I enjoyed your word choice.

Very original, very nice. Bravo.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Awe-inspiring... the dance we dance with the elements of earth & life... bravo

Posted 12 Years Ago


This is a really beaqutiful piece. you portray this image of two becoming one so very well...The visual of these planets passing, almost not connecting, then the Coming together of soul-meld...I have a hard time coming up with any improvement, but you asked:) The only thing that could possibly heighten the impact of the metaphor might be to begin the poem in the past tense (We lived like planets) changing to presnt tense in the last stanza for a contrast? I dunno, though. The repetition almost serves to highlight that itself...

Lovely work~

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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845 Views
13 Reviews
Rating
Added on December 28, 2011
Last Updated on December 30, 2011
Tags: Love, Relationships, Poetry

Author

Tenebrousoul
Tenebrousoul

Gainesville, FL



About
I'm 29, and have been writing my whole life. It's only the last few months that I have been able to write poetry of any substance. I love short stories, essays, and poems, mostly. more..

Writing

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