Corsetry of Lies

A pantoum. Probably my first real foray into form poetry. It's not a -strict- pantoum, because it's not directly adherent to form, but I think it still qualifies.

Inhale, let the false words fasten.

Cinch, pull, twist, and drag them until you suffocate,

Ensconced in a steel boned prison.

Verbs, nouns, all laced up pretty to placate.

 

Cinch, pull, twist, and drag them until you suffocate,

Asphyxiated. Criss and double crossed by deceit.

Verbs, nouns, all laced up pretty to placate.

Sublime self-torture, impossible to desist.

 

Asphyxiated. Double crossed by deceit.

Skin ravaged by devious welts,

Sublime self-torture, impossible to desist.

Bruised shades of mauve mutilation, unfelt.

 

Skin ravaged by devious welts,

But deeper cuts are left on the opponent;

Bruised shades of mauve mutilation, unfelt

Until the pain becomes obvious and ardent.

 

Deeper cuts are left on the opponent;

Ensconced in your steel boned prison

Until their pain becomes obvious and ardent.

So inhale, let the false words fasten.

 

Reviews

[Brett Campaigne]

This poem has a lyrical quality and it would be served well, in my opinion, with venomous vocals and a side industrial beat. I also appreciate you teaching me a new word 'Ensconced'.

[Flow]

Wow this one is really good, I can hear it in my mind being spoken out loud too. I am very impressed with this tongue twisting fast moving exploration of lies and the affect it has on us. Very very good!
I have to ask what is A pantoum? I have never heard of this style and since I don't know I am asking. I am actually blown away by this poem and I can't even review it properly for it deserves nothing but bravo's!