Kate's Story

Ermm... this is part one because i have other stuff to do right now.... :/

"What the hell are you doing Kate" shouted ragdoll, his voice cracking and tears filling his eyes.

 he was too innocent for all this. Though I just stared at her, lying there, with her eyes wide open, pain was filling up inside them. Ryan was walking around in the background, pacing, waiting… miserable people. I should tell Ryan about the other victims, but not Ragdoll, he was too innocent. He wouldn’t be able to handle it yet.

I should probably explain more. This is a description of one of my last kills. She was my ex and she never truly wanted me, that’s what she gets for playing with my heart, so I decided to play with her throat. My first kill was more unexpected. An overwhelming feeling came over me and I couldn’t control my arms from reaching up around her ugly, fat neck. Her name was Zoe Pacer. She was the fattest, ugliest girl in my year, and she thought she was the best, wearing clothes like she was a size 6 and makeup like she was a clown. It was disgusting. She had always bullied me for being gay. For being an emo. For being me. One time when I was walking home from school, my music was blaring through my headphones. She was behind me , sniggering with a couple of her mates that looked just was disgusting as she did. She grabbed me by the shoulder , my head phones tore out of my ears as she turned me in her direction.

"so, you got new head phones after I ‘supposedly’ broke yours" she sarcastically said.

I stayed quite.

" you stupid dyke, thinking you can get me to buy you new things, I can break anything of yours I like, and not give you anything in return" she added, cockily.

As anger filled me, I tried to not lose it.

"what the hell is wrong with you" she shouted

Those words, what’s wrong the hell is wrong with you or what the f**k is wrong with you. Those words, I hated them. Its not my fault. She said those words. And before she had even took her next breathe I had her, by the throat. And I kept hold until the body until it stopped shaking. Its said that if you are extremely angry or worried, you gain super powers. Extreme strength. I think that’s what happened.

No one knew about the murder. I don’t even know how. I dumped the body in to a field. And I never heard anything about it again. Her friends ran screaming. They must have been too scared of me to ever tell anyone. Her parents mustn’t have cared much either. One less mouth to feed attitude.

I never regretted her death; to be honest I only regret one of my victim’s death. And I let him die in my arms as I hushed him to sleep.

Less about death now. I think you should know a bit more about me. My names Kate, I’m 16 and I’m gay and slightly unique. I go to bolt academy and I’ll leave next year. I wanted to be a police officer. How ironic. My best friend is Ragdoll. I called him that because of the way he moves, he’ll turn his head slightly and the rest of his body will sway uncontrollably, like a ragdoll. Not to forget the fact he has a lot of scraggy brown hair and browns eyes so dark they are almost black. He just looks like a Ragdoll. We used to go out in year 6. But we were too good friends, he is always smiling and he acts like he’s still 10, that’s probably why he couldn’t handle all the murders I had committed. That’s another regret, letting him find out. It seems to have troubled the rest of his life and I’m so guilty that I did that to him.

Another of my close friends is Ryan, he is a hidden character. He always wears a hat and carries a skateboard around with him. He has dirty blonde hair and isn’t very talkative, though he is still good to have around and he is caring and knows a lot about health, could fix anybody up quickly. His dad was a doctor in the navy but he died 3 years back. That might be why he is so quiet, but I wouldn’t know because his family moved here 2 years ago.

Ryan has a younger brother who normally hangs around with us, his name is Jasper and he looks exactly like Ryan but smaller and with brighter hair and he was a lot more bubbly. He used to carry a skateboard around with him too but a while ago he broke his arm on one and his mother banned him, so now he goes everywhere on his skates, which I believe is more dangerous if anything. Like I said earlier, his death is the only one I regret.

Beth is another lesbian, but we would of never actually got together. She had spiky short black hair and was very thin. She said she used to be anorexic, but if you ask me, I think she still is. She loves hockey and is always talking to us about it, but we have no idea what she is talking about. she is always hyper and running around.

My favourite memory is one that happened about 4 months before everything went wrong. We used to hang around in this old warehouse we called the old scruff. We had decorated everything, it was white and then we got all these other paints and splatted it everywhere, there was a TV and two massive sofas, there was a fridge and actually lighting, we had a cd player. It was our sanctuary. Ryan and jasper had just got a new step dad, I had an abusive father and Beth’s mom couldn’t afford most of the things we had in the old scruff. We all needed time away. And Ragdoll came for the fun. Anyway, This one time me, Beth, Jasper and Ryan were sat in a circle playing our own made up version of chess which involved dominos and monopoly money. When ragdoll came bursting through the door.

"you will never guess what I got" he almost screamed with excitement.

"what is it" Jasper replied trying to see round his back.

"this is the best thing you will ever see in your lives…. It’s a really rare…. Ocarina!" his face beamed with happiness, but the rest of us didn’t seem that impressed when he turned the golden musically instrument in our direction.

"oh, cool.. do you know how to play" said Beth trying to move away from the awkwardness of no one actually being exicited.

"not exactly… does anyone want to try" Ragdoll asked, hoping everyone would want to.

He past it to Jasper how couldbarely get a bearable sound out of it. Ryan passed it straight to Beth and Beth made a quite cool noise… after trying for ages, and she couldn’t recreated it. Beth then passed it to me. I looked at it for a while, studying the blow holes. Imagining the sounds that could be made. I moved it closer to my face and… music rushed out of it, like a hidden forced had pushed its way out of me. The sound was beautifully, magically and amazing. I never really understood how I made that sound, but most of that night we stayed and I played different types of music . we forgot all about the chess game. And Ragdoll as smug at what he had brought, most days I would be asked to play it .It stayed as a sort of ornament in the old scruff, it was always there. It had its own certain place and we decided to called him jake.

i say its my favourite memory because its really the only one i can remember clearly, i suppose if you've gone through the sort of stuff i've gone through you dont really remember the good stuff and channel everything in to angry. you make up bad things about people and then blame them for everything.

i loved that memory, i guess it must have been my favourite as i always remembered it, it reminded me of all of my friends and how happy and content we were, all of us together, not caring about growing up, it changes a person... growing up i mean, its too much too handle and when you realise your not a kid anymore, you can become unstable and too paranoid. i think thats what happened to me, i didnt know how to act like an adult, killing seems like something an adult would do, the sheer exicitement of killing was like a drug, i felt like i had grown up, i felt like i was finally in control. i was always second best when i was a kid, my older brother got all the attention, when he left i was still somehow second best.

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

 

 

 

 

 

Joshua was my older brother he was suprisingly older than me by 7 years, im sure i was an accident, Joshua got everything he wanted, he was a nerd and went to private school, he had piano lessons and flute lessons, he even used to star gaze and create his own map of stars every friday, he seemed happy i suppose, his suicide was a suprise to us all.

my dad adored him, he wanted him to grow up to be a doctor... or a lawyer... he really didnt care as long as he was being paid lots, and Joshua would have been more than capable with all the money they spent on him, i was never like him, i like to get dirty and pretend i was a soldier in ww1, that was when i was seven, the same year as his death. me and him barely got along, fortunately i liked him reading to me and that was basically the only time we spent together, i lived in the attic with my ant farm aand pet gold fish to keep me company, whilst he was on the second floor in the biggest room in the house, obviously, where else would he keep his collection of musical instruments, his books, trophies and all the other useless learning equiptment he never really needed. i barely got anything, i was the mucky little freak who just got shouted out alot that just happened to also live in the same house, my father hated me because he thought i didnt have potential. he often said who i couldnt be his child, as i wasnt smart enough. under estimating me made me an unachiever, why should i try i could never be good enough, even if i was smarter than joshua, he would have still denied it. my mother was okay i guess, she treated me like a child, probably not like a mother should, more like when a woman sees another person child and she tries to make small talk with it. but im guessing she just wasnt supposed to be a mother to me, she didnt expect me, i cant hate her for that, still she was better than my father. i remember the day Joshua died... my mother was gardening, i was helping, kinda, i just wanted to get muddy, but i guess i was helping as much as a seven year old could, my mom asked me to go inside and fill up the watering can, i said yes and i never wanted to get on the wrong side of my mother, she could get very mad, and she was the only one i really hard... being a tom boy and a all girls christian school is never a good way to make friends... Beth also went to this school but we never really talked. i wouldn't say she was popular but she did better than me. anyway when i got into the kitchen i heard a snap... it came from directly above me... Joshuas room... that seemed strange all you could ever heard from joshuas room was classical music, which he was either playing to listening to whilst he was reading his many books on all sorts of useless information, like rocks and languages. as i slowly walked up the steps, still carrying a almost ful watering can, i could hear creaking, like an old swing, as i slwoly pushed open Joshuas wall i saw the back of his body slowly turning whilst he hung from a rope attached to his lights, i stared speechless as his body slowly moved to face in my direction as i saw the face of my dead brother, with sorrow in his eyes. as any seven year old in my postion would do i sceamed and dropped the watering can. my dad was soon barging me out of the way to try and save his son, my mom son followed she stood by my crying watching my father cry whilst holding joshua and screaming for god to give him back. as i look back now i think why didnt my mother take me away from that sight, no one sat down with me and really explained what had happened, i had to find out the hard way when i was ten, but ill move on to that later.

as the years went on everything got worse... my mother spiraled into depression, and my dad took up drinking and became very violent, neither left the house. they both quit their jobs, so we had barely any money. Joshuas room was left untouched.... apart from the body which of course was removed. i always felt like my dad blamed me. but thats probably just because he started hitting me afterwards. i didnt like Joshua because i felt like life would have been so much better without him. yet once he was gone, the only thing i missed wasnt my mother actually speaking or my father being happy, it was the bed time stories.

i remember about a year after coming downstairs as my parents were discussing a divorse and me going into care. neither wanted me. i was okay with that i knew i would be better of without them. i never did, my dad decided he wanted to stay in the house and i guess i must have reminded him of Joshua because i remember when mom left and he was downstairs drinking i came down and he tried to exlain where my mom had gone. i knew and i tried to stop him to make it easier. im guessing he was about to get to the part where i had to leave. but i told him to wait and i went upstairs and carried down a christmas photo ablum. christmas was a special time. i was actually treat like some one in the family and it was such a special time. these pictures had all of us together. dad kept me. as his only reminded. but im not trying to say it was all good. i mean things got worse. my dad got worse. he did things. i was alone in the world. no one at school like me and only one teacher actually took notice of me, but she never took notice if i mentioned something i shouldn't.

when i turned ten my dad must have been lacking something, because this is when he started raping me. it was horrible and i dont want to get you started. but he wasnt too violent most of the time he ended up just crying. we never really spoke, but like i said this was the year i found out about joshua, i was looking around my fathers room.

Author's Note

i may have spelt some stuff wrong, and its not layed out right, but ya no :/ its quite bad.. i dont know why im posting it

Reviews

[Chris]

The style and all the perceived flaws FIT the character. Its a hell of a story - for any age... and it didn't generate pity... I just listened to what seemed to be needing to be said.

Take care,
Chris