Count William

Count William

 

            I had no idea what time it was, or for that matter, how long I had lay here.  I let the darkness that surrounded me soak into me, absorbing its cool comfort through every pore of my body.    The over whelming satisfaction of my solitude filled me with an unparallel joy.

             I could lay here, undiscovered for centuries were it not for the hunger that pulled at me with a unrelenting desire of its own.   I ran my tongue over the sharp tips of my fangs, relishing the sweet memory of the last time they struck terror into the hearts of my victims. What held me harder still was the fear of discovery by the Others. They didn’t understand me... they wanted to hunt me down...  destroy me. They would stop at nothing to put an end to me. If only I were not alone in the world... if somehow there were more of my kind lying in the dark waiting for the rising of the moon.

             I could hear them even now... the heavy foot steps of the Others as they searched for me. Images of angry voices pitchforks, torches, fire, heartbreaking carnage suddenly filled my head.  My heart pounded as they drew closer to my sanctuary. My heart sank with dread... I was about to be discovered yet again.

              I had but one chance... perhaps... just perhaps if I were to lunge at just the right moment... sink my teeth so deep, so fast that my victim wouldn’t have time to shout for help... maybe I would survive... survive long enough to find one of my own.

             I readied myself, getting into a crouched position so as to strike with a ferocity and speed that would surely shock my unwitting victim into stunned silence, assuring my victory. At that instant my fortress of darkness was flooded with a bright unyielding light. I was stunned, caught off guard for the slightest of moments. I had no choice... I had to attack before all was lost.

             “Aaahh,”  I snarled mincingly, lunging into the light with all my force.

             “Mom !  He’s doing it again,” my older sister, Lisa shouted.

             “Billy ! How many times have I told you ?? That dishtowel is not a cape... you are not a vampire and you can not play in the hall closet,”  Mom, now annoyed, shouted from the kitchen.      

             “Yeah, Billy. You heard Mom,”  Lisa taunted.

             “It’s count William to you stink face,”  I returned, slowly pulling the door closed once more. I let the darkness that surrounded me soak into me, absorbing its cool comfort through every pore of my body.  I could lay here for centuries...

 

 

Reviews

[KimberlySeben]

The story was written very well. It kept my attention until the very end. I liked how all of the details that were written to describe the main characters thoughts. I wanted to know what kind of monster was being decribed and it let me know from the details.

There’s only one thing I noticed, there’s a space with the explanation point after Mom and Billy. Otherwise, there’s nothing else I noticed that needs to be fixed. What a great little story!

[Lilly Chapman]

It was amazing loved it. I thought it was amazing reminded me of childhood. BTW your a finalist CONGRATS!!!

[Tegon Maus]

Thanks for the read Lilly... much appreciated !!

[Jennifer Webster]

That was a very hilarious taste of childhood, a story about pretending to be a monster! Such great work!-JW

[Rain]

Cute! Humourous and well set up. Short and sweet!

[Ms Paragon]

Humorous ending after having played around the concept of " I vs Others".Well done!

[BottledSong]

It was a breath of fresh air. It was funny :)

[mae23]

Loved this congrats on winning!

[heartspeaks]

Hahahaha! Really awessom! I don't know about the contest but surely it made me laugh! amazing writing. It's not easy to write something funny that is actually funny. Keep going. Thumbs up.

[Author Gus]

You must be doing something right or you wouldn't have so many reviews. I like seeing a bit of innocent humor; it's not all that common anymore.

[Jacob Clifford]

Awesome, cute story. It reminded me of being a small kid and really getting into my playing.