Come To Me

love poem

My love, come to me.

 I want you to devour my soul, my blood is boiling to feel each tender touch of yours, that I am your love. Like the wind and the sun. I am like a butterfly, with wings of love, to embraced you in the perfume of an everlasting love.

My love, come to me. Take my clothes, keep me naked, seduce me with your passion, and provoke my wishes.

All I want is to love you, Like there is no tomorrow, I want you to search and touch every single territory of my body. I want you to take me to the heavens above.

My love, come to me. Let me hear you whisper your seductive thoughts. I want to  feel you seducing me Little by little... I long to be naked, next to you, with the heat of your embrace and your flames of seduction to keep me warm. Takes me to the moon.

My love, come to me. I want to let you know, that I am your fire and that you will burn in the ecstasy, from the heat of my flames of passion. That the nakedness from my soul Is what I want you to take, And that all I want... Is to feel, every single drop, from the heat of your everlasting love.

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

When reading such passionate poetry, it's hard to ride in the same seat as the one with the driving force. What to judge The desire and all else alike or the way the poet/writer has laid his/her words.
Readers are as different as writers are.. nobody can wholly judge.. we surely leave words with good and for unselfish reason. For me you have opened up your heart and offered in every way that matters to you as a gift to your darling. That is love from you to another. More than more..

[JayG]

A question you need to ask yourself: What's in it for the reader? In this, the unknown narrator is talking to the reader about what matters to THEM. Your narrator, someone unknown to the reader, is declaring their desire for sex with someone unknown. Great for that person, I suppose, but it holds no emotion for the reader.

Sure, when you read it there's passion in your voice, and mental images and memories fill your mind. But how can a reader know the emotion YOU would place into the reading? Have the computer read the work to you for a better idea of what the reader "hears" as they read.

In much of your poetry, that same problem manifests, in that what is filled with emotion and memories for you, reads more as a series of declarations that inform the reader of your emotions rather than stoking those of the reader.

It's not some kind of failing in you, or a matter of talent that's causing your poetry to inspire fewer comments than you hoped for, it's that like most, you left your school years with a major misunderstanding: You believe that we learned skills of writing that are universal, when in reality, the only approach to writing we're given is the fact-based and author-centric skills of nonfiction. All those reports and essays we were assigned made us good at writing the reports, letters, and other nonfiction applications that employers need of us.

But reports, like this poem, focus on informing the reader, where those of poetry entertain the reader by making them feel and care. Their methodology is emotion-based and character-centric.

Where you tell the reader that YOU feel passion for a lover, the poet makes the reader feel that passion.

E. L. Doctorow was talking about fiction when he said, “Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.” But it applies to poetry, as well.

So instead of telling the reader how you feel, make your reader feel that same emotion for-the-same-reason.

Poets have the super-power to make someone they will never meet weep, smile, and feel the emotions they choose, by the words they choose and place. It's a learned skill-set, but well worth the time spent learning it.

Wilson Mizner said, “If you steal from one author it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many it’s research.” So...research! Knowledge is an excellent working substitute for genius. Dig into the skills that poets have been refining and developing for centuries and make them yours. The learning is anything but a chore. A book like Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook, is filled with unexpected gems and tricks that will make the act of writing poetry more satisfying for both you and your reader:

https://www.docdroid.net/7iE8fIJ/a-poetry-handbook-pdfdrivecom-pdf

So try a few chapters for fit. I think you'll end up reading them all.

Not the kind of reaction you were hoping for, but the problems you face are of the kind that are invisible to the author, because you begin reading with both context and intent guiding your understanding. And since we'll not address the problem that we don't see as being one, I thought you might want to know.

Hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
Articles: https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/
Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@jaygreenstein3334

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“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”
~ Mark Twain