Onward To The End!

So....this is the healing everyone is talking about
Turned numb, turned dumb, feeling inside out
Like an ocean turned to sand stuck in the sun
A relic stuck in amber, soul weighing a ton

Is this better feeling dead instead of like I'm dying
Instead of crying I say I'm fine getting use to lying
Turning fake when it's everything I've always been against
Fake it until you die and hope that time has been condensed

A couple years later and this is getting better?
When the love was of a lifetime do you think you'd forget her?
How long ago did Jesus die and people still shed tears
Well this was something I know was real and for that I'll mourn for years

Move on to what when I had a fairytale come true
Tell me how many times miracles come through for you
Oh you're alive and for that you will count a blessing
Let me say in reality it's someone else's love I'm guessing

I don't understand how to fall out of love after all this time
When I pledged allegiance to her soul, leaving would be a crime
I can't operate on myself when I feel that I'm not wrong
So I'll just wait for the grave to call and I hope that's not too long

Yes, yes I'd say I'm getting better at accepting my fate
That this is the world I'm meant for that God helped create
Cursed and damned to travel this path alone
Single name engraved on a lone crumbling stone