SoC

Ok..THIS was challenging. (Pantoum)

Found in a state of chaos
Groomed to be your knight
It will always be your name I emboss
As you are my never ending light

Groomed to be your knight
Your name carved in my chest
As you are my never ending light
In each other's arms we rest

Your name carved in my chest
We carry each other's weightless souls
In each other's arms we rest
Put away our burdened tolls

We carry each other's weightless souls
It will always be your name I emboss
Put away our burdened tolls
Found in a state of chaos

Reviews

[Marianne Rose]

Interesting way that you repeat certain lines- guess that's the form, right? I'll have to look that one up- seems very challenging. The lines you repeat really do tell the story of your undying love- when we are young, we carve our names into a tree with a heart- the image of carving her name into your chest calls up such pain and torture, at first bleeding, then scarred over. It can't be undone- a permanent mark. The other lines are also so descriptive of your journey "groomed to be your knight" and "we carry each other's weightless souls". It is very poetic and romantic, and the knight calls up the more old-fashioned view of love- it speaks of chivalry and devotion, undying sacrifice and protectiveness in love. You do a beautiful work of capturing what I sense in you in your love for her- that it will never die. And good job with what looks like a very challenging form! Thank you.

[Teddybearlee]

Yes, thank you very much for taking the time to read it, I know it's just a rewording of everything else I write, but I was trying to incorporate a new style just for the heck of it. Searched poem types and discovered this one called pantoum and thought it would be fun and interesting..even though a slight headache may have occurred! I greatly appreciate your review :)