Where I Need To Be Without You

Yes...I went all morbid on this one...but yes, it's the truth, and if nothing else, I'm honest and an open book.

This feel of shards of glass constantly piercing my heart
Awake or asleep, my very soul, being ripped apart
No rest, no relief, no moment of peace to come
I'm unraveled, yet so very twisted, infinitely undone

Yes..yes..more often than not I wish for death to take me
I will it, I beg for it, for the reaper to come quietly
Is it selfish to not want to live in such eternal misery
The doctor, the therapist, couldn't help "fix" what you see

I can't control the thought that I'm a waste of life
I had my turn, I had my love, she left, now it's good night
It was an..interesting run, from hell to heaven and back to hell
Let's end this for good, I'm exhausted from being a broken shell

I yearn for the silence in my head, and the stilling of a useless drum
No more pain, no more pain, no more god damn pain, not a crumb
Heaven or damnation, it matters not, a change of scenery
And if the fiery pits are where I belong..well..it's somewhere else to be

I gave, I give, I thought I was a decent human being to all
My dream of having a happy family, true love, an order too tall
Bury me, in this earth, in the ground, in the dirt, covered
And I'll thank you, because without her, all I've done is suffered

Reviews

[Anindita Janhabee]

Such a painful dedication sir, I truly appreciate each sentence you have dedicated to her. I read about you just now... Somewhat I saw myself within you. I too am missing someone heartily but fact is that that person won't return again... You can see my suffering through my writings. Mostly, I lost my smile and felt heartless. After a lot of effort, I am back to reality. Reality always bites. And life is always unfair to me... After knowing about you, now I don't feel lonely.. The world is not a wish granting factory, still I pray for my lost friendship...
Your words really touch my heart. My best friend's nick name was Teddy.. This made me visit your page.. But now Teddy isn't with me... I hope he's keeping well...
Sir, please do not lose hope... I think one day or the other, our own things will return to us...
Anindita : )

[Teddybearlee]

Yes, sadly it's all a true story, over 160 writings I have made dedicated to love lost...and I feel I haven't hit the worst time yet. Thank you for sharing that you can relate, it always does help, at least momentarily knowing we aren't alone in our pain. As long as I live, I have hope, even if it is just holding on to a blade of grass as I hang over a cliff. My thoughts are with you too on your journey, I will definitely check out some of your writings when I get home from work this evening :)

[Anindita Janhabee]

You are right... we shouldn't ever leave hope...
And yeah, I will be waiting for your review.. thank you...