The Real One

Of course it's the beauty of you that caught my eye
Wavy long brown hair and about 5 foot or just shy
A loving smile and a perfect full figure
But these are just looks, the real you is so much bigger

You excitement and love of life made me smile
The vibe you gave off that second I would've walked the aisle
A little naiveté from you set me soaring to heaven
A bit of innocence put my attention to 11

You WERE so different from the other local ladies
A head on your shoulders and morals you claimed were never fading
I was nervous at first because of your age
But you comforted me, with assurances of a sage

You SWORE you didn't want to party and sleep around
Just wanted a man, and to feel safe and sound
You had seen enough hell in your life to last
And God I could relate, to a long hard past

You were as shaken as I was at finding each other
But I could sense the butterflies in you my lover
We moved fast, but it all felt so right
I'll never forget the first time you stayed the night

I couldn't believe this perfect angel was laying next to me
As I casually touched your hand as we watched scary movies
And remember how distraught I was I couldn't find your mellow yellow?
It literally brought tears to my eyes, I wanted to be the perfect fellow

Of course you laughed it off, as no big deal
But it broke my heart, God I wanted to impress you any way real
All the times standing outside of my work to speak
As I always waited the goodbye hug and kiss, to sweep you off your feet

You could never do wrong in my eyes and to my soul
From day one, you completed me, made me whole
Every secret you told me, made me love you even deeper
And I prayed you felt the same, that you believed me a keeper

-I love you Kathy, the butterflies still flutter for you, they always will

Reviews

[Marianne Rose]

A wonderful journey through your relationship from the beginning, with the knowledge that it didn't last. I must say though, now it feels like she doesn't deserve you. Less of a tribute to your wife, this shows more of her colors, in reality- less sensitive to your feelings, not really meeting you in the depth of love, returning to ways she said weren't her. Your love is there, but maybe there was never a heart big enough to receive it? Touching example of the eyes we look through with new love. Thanks.

[Teddybearlee]

I don't think many, if any would disagree with your point about her not deserving me, it's a sentiment echoed many times. For the most part though, this woman WAS this person for ~8 years, we had normal ups and downs of any couple, but the last 3 years were the calmest, the best, the most rewarding, thats where I will never be able to piece things together. We had overcome our challenges that would've torn most couples apart, we were at peace together, settled down, had a baby, got married, bought our first house, and the fighting was next to nothing....she really would look in to my eyes every day saying she loved me, holding me, and promising I was the only man for her....every, single, day till the very end...a friend of mine was helping me put a tv on my wall today, and he saw the generic sign she got me "Love is being married to your best friend"...and I was like yes...no joke, she got me that, maybe 3 or 4 months before she left....one thing I am not is easily fooled by people, I am pretty good at reading people, I lived with this woman, every day, I can't express enough how out of nowhere this was, it rattled her own friends and family who had no clue, and STILL have no clue why this happened. A woman of 9 years, over night, changed in to a completely different person, for no apparent reason. A woman walked away from someone that..well...would and does walk through hell for her, a man who had lived through enough hurt in life, a man that gave her all his heart and soul, and his goal in life was to provide a healthy and happy family environment, because of how he was raised. A man that holds a job, is somewhat intelligent, and obviously has a huge heart. This woman I describe, IS the real her, I truly believe that, no matter what she or anyone else says...never in a million years could I have envisioned her becoming what she is now, never, it was never a part of her...mentality....to say I've questioned her mental stability is an understatement, unfortunately, issues do seem to run in her family, and I've seen various medications affect her very negatively...but...none of it matters if she doesn't want to help herself...and thats the part that just kills me, all I can do is try and make her question what is going on...and yes..for a year I've failed at that, but I hope at some point, she comes back to reality, and realizes how special we were as a couple...it's no lie that so many of her friends were jealous of our relationship, how far she had come, how loved she was....I apologize for rambling on and on, it all hits as hard today as ever. I thank you for your comment sincerely Marianne, and for taking the time to read my writings, it's the little things like that that really do help me get through every day.

[Marianne Rose]

I'm glad you filled in more of the details of your life together before she so abruptly changed. Addiction, mental health problems, succumbing to some spiritual voice of evil that leads one away from love- so many things to consider. If you still see the real her in your mind and believe in her, perhaps that will save her from whatever destructive path she chooses to follow. I will pray for her, and suspend judgment on her character, for you lived with her a long time, and you must have seen her soul.

[Teddybearlee]

That's all I can ask, it's so easy and VERY understandable why all my friends (and even some of hers) are disgusted by her and her actions, and I have lost friends through this, and I will lose even more if she were to ever find her way back home...but you know, I DO feel I know the real her, I do feel there is more at work here than just an "unhappy" wife, it is something deeper...like I said, I get it, I get every word you are saying, I get every word everyone says in my defense, I love every single person that "has my back"....no one wants to see me become what I have become, but I have to trust my heart, I have to follow my heart, I know no other way...and it just so happens my mind agrees with my heart, it doesn't warn me I'm doing the wrong thing, theres no "hint" of a possible better life out there, I know what I've seen, I know what I've been through, I know what I've felt, and I also have always said and felt I know her better than she knows herself...but I don't just go on my word alone, like I said, she left a whole community of family and friends in shock and confusion...thank you for understanding, my mission isn't to make people dislike her, it really isn't, even though yes, I want to be told "wow, you seem like you were a good man, a good husband, she must be crazy to leave you", more than anything, I just want...I don't know..a miracle, I want someones prayers, vibes, words, to reach around to her, any help I can get, even if I'm unsure of my "relationship with God", I do pray, and I do appreciate others prayers, whatever energy or thoughts people can spare, I want her mind healed, because I know something isn't right (in a different way than my head not being on right currently..lol).

[Marianne Rose]

I will pray for the right people- angels in disguise-to cross her path, melt her willfulness, and begin to weave the miracle you speak of. You too are in my prayers for rejuvenation and strength. Blessings.