Early Mourning

Why am I awake at 4:28
Will I ever sleep normal again
These 3 hour naps are never enough
But these nightmares never end

Anxiety always lingering
Undeserved guilt ridden for so much
Alone in a bed bought for two
Still haven't found a suitable crutch

The sun will come soon
And a parent and worker I must be
Still worn out from another restless night
I live so exhaustedly

This will some how be the death of me
My health rapidly in downswing
For a year now since you made your choice
How does one rest with a neverending sting

Being one that needs answers
Yet what I seek can never be found
My racing mind never slows
This constant ache never lets me down

Mind is over matter
Mind is over all
Mind is over meditation
Through life I crawl