Ruined In the Mood

It's true, I never believed I was good anyway
Never measured up, no matter what they say
A sense of worry, a feeling of fear
Of not living up, to the standards you hear

You built me up, to be a little more believing
And brought me down, when you were succeeding
In filling my head, that I was filling your needs
Gasoline in the places, where you planted the seeds

No, no more intimacy for me again in this world
When I couldn't keep hold of that special girl
And she threw it in my face how much I sucked
And this is how, my feelings on sex got fucked

I always listened, I always cared for you first
Never once, did you communicate I was the worst
I don't recall ever hearing a suggestion on change
And I know for you, in my heart there was no range

I would've tried I wouldve fixed I wouldve heard
If you tried to explain what was needed in word
So you wait till your out the door and fill me with hate filled lines
To bring me down and make sure the words are mind land mines

Every day now, I can't stand to hear about sex at all
From music to tv to friends to coworker talk, it makes me fall
I hate the thought of being with anyone, in a romantic way
Even you who I want back the one I need to save, the, day

Your words made me hate being me again
You made sure to leave me in own dread filled den
You proudly told me you were f*****g another guy
As I slowly pulled the phone from my ear to die, some, more

Always the loser, always the zero, always the fool in the end
Always the nothing, always the waste of time, never, to begin, again