The Price of Admission

I've poured my heart out a thousand different ways for you
And dripped out so many tears theres a new ocean of blue
But I guess all these words still can't find their way through
My gift, worthless after all, when you're the one it's dedicated to

All my efforts come from the dying blood in my veins
And as I one day lay on my death bed, your memory remains
The many moments of your arms around me, left their stains
So many shattered pieces of glass, as many as sand grains

Does God hear my words, I'm tired of unanswered prayers
This is part of God's plan?  To prove He doesn't care?
I'm sure this is the devil's game, I feel his dark stare
I wish he'd come, face to face, in the flesh, I dare

What's left to lose after my mind is gone and my body in waste
I gambled with my soul, on a love, is that a disgrace?
Your mind isn't the same, I can see it on your face
Something has a hold on you, and I can't save you in this case

I have cried out for help and I have sounded the alarm
For anyone to bring you back, together we are warm
But no one can or no one will, alone I fought this storm
Not only my mind, but also my skin you will always adorn

With a whimper I fade in to obscurity, no going out with a bang
With all my heart and soul, in this life and beyond, my saying
My battle to win you back has put me on a one way train
Since I let you be the conductor, the tracks to hell, laced in pain