Hibernation

A deep deep sleep
To escape the drains of reality
To pause the festering of waking nightmares
It seems my destiny is that of a fool
Believe in something hard enough and it won't come true
I want to sleep, through this era of shackles
I hear of love, I hear of sex, I hear of soulmate, it raises my hackles
Put me down, out of misery, permanently
I'm rabid with the taste of one blood, one tear, one touch
There was no foreseeing of this outcome
I'm meant more for the grave than walking without you
Time doesn't ease this degenerating disease
Hope, where is it now, I'm out of fight, hope is dead
Close my eyes, forever, so I can finally rest
Because every vein only craves what I can't have
All my wisdom, all my knowledge, all I have gained, in vain
My God has turned her back on me
No mercy granted
I can't not fight every moment upon waking
I'll never unlearn what I raised myself to believe
My heart wants what my heart believes
My soul cries out, for what has abandoned me