Victory, Not A Defeat

So what if you’ve been torn?

So what if you’ve been scorned?

I tear just like you and feel the things you do,

And I’ve been beaten and tarnished just like you,

As has the rest of this world.

So get up, get over yourself and stop acting inferior.

We all have flawed interiors and gnarled exteriors.

Yours is no better or worse, we all feel pain - we all know “hurt.”

So use those feet, cut back on the grief.

Make this existence a victory, not a defeat.

Author's Note

4/21/15

Reviews

[Daniel-Andre]

Must say, I think this is a decent poem.

Since you`ve got rhymes here, I can see you`ve written this poem in traditional form, which is noted :)

Now, as it comes to the technical stuff. I`d say it looks pretty good. You`ve got no grammatical errors, there`s a good flow in the sentences and you`ve broken this piece up in different stanzas. Which is great, those stanzas are really important. Makes your writing visually appealing to the reader. For not to say easier to read. As already mentioned, you`ve got rhymes too and they`re spicing up the overall text. And that compliments your creation :)

Now, I really like this message you`ve delivered. It`s true, each and every one of us struggles with at least something. Even the ones who makes others believe they`re living the perfect life. For example those who makes others believe they have no troubles because of their good looks etc.

Christ, even a sweet gal such as Ariana Grande herself has her problems, even though it doesn`t show to the public. She might have insecurities because of her body. Hell, trust issues even. She can`t know if the guys chasing her chases her because of her as a person, or her money. These were just examples, of course.

As a final conclusion, I must say that this is a great message you`ve reflected through your words, good job! Keep writing, never stop. That`s the only way to improve :)

[T. Edana Talbott]

Thanks so much Daniel for the constructive and thoughtful review! It's very much appreciated coming from a great writer like yourself :)

[samparks,sam]

I tear just like you and feel the things you do,
And I’ve been beaten and tarnished just like you,

so sweet words you describe I like

[T. Edana Talbott]

Thank you!