Turning Times

I cannot forget my memories...

Its getting colder

I'm getting older

 

I'll never know if it is you

Haven't seen you in three years

Feels like its been twenty here

 

When you called

I couldn't believe

It was you

 

Your life is going well

Canyou believe mine fell?

Yeah, I'm not doing to well

 

I keep moving forward

Only one step at a time

I'm hanging onto my last life-line

 

Finally you say

That everything was a lie

That all the pain I went through

Was all cause by you

 

My thin thread snaps

I begin to fall

You say my name

And I punch the wall

 

You say everthing's different

And that may be true

But why should I believe you

 

I tried to run away

From all the lies and pain

But just became a consuming flame

 

I look at you

My face torn with pain

You say that its over

That life can move on

 

But then I hit the ground

My life's already gone...

Author's Note

Plz tell me what you think I just got bored and just wrote this...

Reviews

[Phenomena]

wow ur boredom came in handy. It seems that seem to be more creative with your wording when u begin to rhyme. For example:
"I keep moving forward
Only one step at a time
I'm hanging onto my last life-line"

This was my fave stanza. I like the last life-line part. And I love the abrupt ending. And this poem makes me wonder who was that person who called you and well, the entire story. Continue to write!=D

[Lorraine]

You sure can write something so lonely when you're bored. I would've thought that this one's written right after a breakup. Anyways, I find this poem dramatic and sentimental.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[Kat24]

hi,
This is very good. This does not look like a write where you are bored. Very good job. Kat24

[BenightedWhispers]

This is really good. I especially liked "But just became a consuming flame". I like how you started and ended with a two-line stanza. It sounds so sweet, sad, and heart-breaking, and then to just end it like you did...it suprises the reader and wakes them up from the sad melody into the painful strings. Your emotion and wording is very nice. I like the picture too. It's one of my favorites. It would be even more awesome if the cracked mirror was a wall. Haha.

~Namida~ (Tears)

[Spikes Angel]

i love it...haha

[Wolfwind Words]

Relatable and flowing with emotional power. The images came across as if they were 3D on the screen. The poem captured each moment of thought and transitioned to the next seamlessly.

Well crafted Ink!

Aaron Maycroft

[Passingdaze]

A nice little write. Very easy to relate to. I like the emotion you bring to the table. Good job...Keep that intensity.

[Livana Lowell]

It's rythmic. I like it because it's written well with passion and yet I can see a small story within it. I love the ending though it was pretty sad. It starts off like a conversation then evovles into something more and something good and interesting. Very good.

[Aaron]

Amazing poem i have to say, the rhyme is great and it sends a powerful message

[TeenRomance]

Really good. It reminds me of a friend, actually. I liked the last two verses the best :-)

[Kevin Taylor]

I very much liked this stanza here, it has a nice rhythmic, and emotional quality.
"My thin thread snaps

I begin to fall

You say my name

And I punch the wall"