Scary Place to Be

She dropped the fake smile as she shut her bedroom door behind her. They all saw her as a happy girl. No problems, no pain. But little did they know the things she did to herself when she was alone. Little did they know that underneath those sleeves were scars, and most recent.

 

Her auburn hair fell in her face as she locked the door and sat down on her bed. She was falling apart. She was losing her mind, going insane. She was isolated in her misery, but noone knew, because she was too scared to tell them. To scared of losing them. But she knew they'll leave her anyway. Her eyes were dark and pained. She stared across her room, not really looking at anything. Her eyes said alot if you knew how to read them. They said, "I'm falling apart. Save me."

 

She wrapped her arms around herself, as a tear fell from her face. She felt ugly, stupid, worthless. She felt unimportant and unloved. She wouldn't be able to talk to her friend, Hannah for another hour, for she was still in school. So that left her alone, with an hour long period of time. You can do a lot of damage in one hour.

 

Words wrapped around her mind. "Fat. Ugly. Trash. Go die in a hole. You're worthless. You're a waste of space." Insults that she knew were true. She didn't matter. She wasn't special. She was just another waste of space, another unoriginal copy. She was useless, and quite honestly, the world would be better without her. Her mind tortured her with these things. Her demons snickered and laughed in agreement as she hated herself. More than anything did she want to find relief in her knife, but she was determined to get to 50 days clean of cutting. She had come so far, would she really throw it all away so easily?

 

Of course she would. There was nothing like cutting. For however long you do it, you feel relief. You feel whole, complete. It's your downfall, but your saviour. It frees you from having to be on this Earth, dealing with all the pain and torture of life. It was an escape to get away from everything. For the numb, it was a way to feel. And for the pained, it was a way to feel numb. It was bliss.

 

She sat there, wating to do it so badly. Maybe just end everrything?

 

"Do it." Her mind said. "Noone would care. You're worthless. Fat. Ugly. Unimportant. GO DIE." Tears streamed down her face. Her mind tortured her. Her mind was a scary place to be.

Author's Note

If you couldn't tell, the 'she' in the story is me. Yeah. I hope you like it?