Chapter 4

Chapter four

 

Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it,

but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~Chapter 4~

 

April.

 

 

Friendship is not something that comes easily to me. As I’ve heard many people say before, companionship develops over time, hopefully into something extremely rare. My friendship with Lucas was very rare, something that—as hard as I might try—I know I’ll never forget. Derek seems to think my sulking is childish and immature, and even threatened to ground me once if I didn’t stop moping around like a robot.

        New York was not somewhere I could get used to. Its hectic pace had me in a frenzy, and more than once I’d have to stop and take a breath to focus on whatever I was doing. I didn’t like this strident, rowdy city.

        Derek’s apartment was very pretty, and looked like the office of a business executive. Some walls were made entirely of glass, overlooking the grand, active city that lied beyond. I liked my room because I could at least see the sun setting—or part of it anyway, since the buildings were blocking most of my view. And Derek’s girlfriend Emily—whom he had been dating for nearly a year and a half now—was very nice to me. She always offered to help me with something when it looked like I needed assistance. I had already met her before and I’d gotten along with her then; I’d even laughed and joked around with her. But now the life seemed to be sucked out of me and laughing felt like a foreign thing.

        The only time I was enthusiastic was when the mail arrived.

        I waited for what seemed like an eternity for a letter from Lucas, but none ever came. And every time I saw there was no mail from my best friend, an empty, bleak feeling stole me over and knocked me off my feet. Why wasn’t Lucas writing to me? I shouldn’t have expected it anyway, right? I’d broken my promise to him, so it only made sense he wouldn’t write to me anymore. He was probably boiling angry at me. He probably hated me for leaving, and never wanted to speak to me again.

        Whatever the case, I still didn’t give up. Every time Emily or Derek announced the mail was here, I’d run to the kitchen and tear the envelopes out of their hands and after leafing through the letters several times and seeing there was nothing for me, I’d trudge back to my room and stay there for the rest of the evening.

       

This year New Years was a little different.

        Derek and Emily were getting ready for a party some guy named Brent had invited them to and that only left one choice for me: a babysitter. Though I protested like crazy that I was old enough to look after myself, Derek still got me one, and it ended up being some old hag who was only interested in the pattern on the carpet. I was surprised she was still alive by the time Derek and Emily arrived home. Last year New Years had been so much better. I remembered vividly lighting firecrackers with Lucas and watching fireworks go off in the sky, I remembered baby Tyler’s squeals as he watched it all, I remembered the festive grins on peoples’ faces as they watched it all. This year I was forced to stay home and watch the action from my room, and it was not that exciting.

        Eventually Derek got his wish.

        I decided to give up. Lucas didn’t want to write me for whatever reason and I didn’t want to spend anymore of my time feeling like an abandoned kitten. I didn’t think about Lucas anymore, because it seemed pointless to dread the past now that it was all over. I didn’t want to think back to those happy times and feel this miserable; I wanted to remember them as the times when things were so much easier.

       

        When I started school at Lincoln Middle, I was a nervous wreck. I’d spent the entire night before staring out the window at the flashing city lights, listening to the honks of cars and booming music of parties going on just down below, but none of it distracted me from tomorrow. I’d have to start all over again. I didn’t care what others thought of me, so it was a mystery to why I should be so anxious about my first day. Maybe it was because I’d be starting as a sixth grader, the youngest grade, and everything else would seem so much bigger.

        Morning came all too soon, and before I knew it Derek was prying me out of bed and shoving me into the bathroom, where I washed my face and brushed my teeth, and combed through my hair with shaking fingers. I threw on some clothes at random, my mind still miles away. I ended up in old jeans and an orange-yellow t-shirt. I tied my hair up into a ponytail and headed to the kitchen with my backpack, tossing it onto the couch and lumbering to the counter.

        Emily had her back to me and was at the stove making breakfast, her long, dark red hair pulled back into a tidy braid down the middle of her back. The smell of fresh food wafted through the air, and gray sunlight spilled through the window. Emily turned once I arrived and dumped two eggs onto my plate, her brown eyes warm and open.

        “I’m not hungry,” I muttered sullenly, once she turned her back again.

        “April, it’s your first day,” Emily sighed. “I understand you’re nervous, but you have to eat something.”

        I pushed my plate away with an audible scrape against the table, preparing to stand and head to the living room.

        “I’m not hungry,” I repeated.

        Then Derek sauntered into the kitchen, sporting a very fancy suit. His hair was tidier than usual, and he looked unfamiliar to me.

        Emily chuckled and kissed him on the cheek. “Someone’s ready for that interview,” she sang, smiling at him.

        He grinned and sat down across from me, eyes bright. “Guess what,” he said to me.

        “What?” I muttered, staring at the table.

        “I think we have enough to make a trip to Alabama.”

        My heart faltered for several seconds, and for a moment I was speechless. I jerked my head up to look at him, eyes wide. It had been a year. Lucas probably didn’t even know who I was anymore. Showing up there now would be an embarrassment.

        “I don’t think I want to visit Alabama now,” I said quietly, looking away from Derek’s enthusiastic stare.

        “Why not?” Derek asked suspiciously, eyebrows drawing together.

        I shrugged. “He hasn’t written back to me; he probably doesn’t even care.”

        Derek stared at me evenly, silent for a long minute. He let out his breath. “April Marie Meyers, you have been pestering me about this since we moved here,” he said, almost angrily, “and now you don’t want to go?”

        I bit my lip. “I’m sorry... Can’t you use the money for something else?”

        Derek chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you,” he said loudly, though I was relieved to see he wasn’t mad.

        “Well,” Derek sighed, looking at his watch. “I should get going. Do well in school,” he said, and stood, kissing Emily briefly and ruffling my hair before grabbing his keys and heading out the door.

       

        “Here we are.”

        I turned to look reluctantly out the window, at the towering school just ahead. Two stories high and made of bricks, with the words “LINCOLN MIDDLE SCHOOL” printed boldly across a sign near the front. My heart reacted hysterically to this sight, and I swallowed deeply before turning to Emily, who had just finished parking.

        “You’ll do fine, April,” Emily said comfortingly, smoothing my hair. “Just be yourself.”

        I let out my breath and nodded, unable to speak due to the lump that had risen in my throat.

        “April,” Emily said again, after several minutes of sitting there.

        “Yeah?” I asked shakily, my hand quivering on the door handle.

        “Open the door.”

        I did as I was told, though it took a lot of effort. I stepped out into the chilly morning day, head spinning. I checked my schedule, which I had received in the mail a couple weeks ago, before continuing past the chattering students and towards the looming school.

        It was all so big.

        The school, the students, the teachers; everything. Maybe not in the literal sense of the word, because I was taller than most kids my age. It was as if I’d entered a new world, a very frightening, stressful world that I did not want to be part in right now. More than ever, I wished for comfort, for a guide. I wanted someone to help me, whether it was my father or my mother or my best friend. But I had nobody, so I had to deal with it.

        A gust of wind greeted me when I stepped into room 421. A woman with dull amber hair was sitting at her desk, shuffling papers. Students were already in their seats, chatting with friends and laughing away, though a lot of them turned to stare at me as I entered.

        I walked to the teacher’s desk and handed her my slip, and she smiled and welcomed me to Lincoln Middle. Her name was Mrs. Jane. She pointed out my seat, which to my despair was right at the front,  in the dead middle, before a short scrawny boy with blond hair and bright blue eyes.

        “Everyone, this is April,” Mrs. Jane announced once I’d taken my seat.

        My face turned a deep crimson as every eye in the class focused on my face, and I tried desperately not to meet any of the probing gazes.

        “April, why don’t you stand up, dear, and tell us a bit about yourself?”

        Already, Mrs. Jane was my least favorite teacher. I stood, my legs stiff, and faced the class, my heart pounding. I blushed again as I struggled for words.

        “Um... I’m from Alabama,” I murmured quietly. Everyone was staring avidly at me, like I was some new species of human.

        “Alabama? Very interesting. What’s it like there?” Mrs. Jane asked curiously, her tawny eyes inquisitive.

        “Uh... hot?”

        Several people laughed, but I turned a deeper shade of red, if that was possible, and sat back down.

        “Well, welcome, April, to Lincoln Middle,” Mrs. Jane said. “And if April needs any help, it’s up to you guys to show her around, understood?” she asked the class.

        Some students must’ve nodded, because Mrs. Jane smiled and clapped her hands together. “Okay. Where we left off yesterday was the Civil War. Please open your books to page two twenty-one.”

 

*   *   *

Lunchroom chatter thrived around me, adding to my headache. I sat alone at one of the tables near the back, hoping not to catch attention. Apparently that wasn’t working, because several people were casting sneaky glances my way, and they’d avert their stare once I met their gaze. The cafeteria food was starting to make my gag, so I switched to playing with my food rather than eating it. I watched the clock on the wall glumly, wondering if the minute hand was moving slower by the minute.

A looming shape out of my peripheral vision caught my eye, and I glanced over my shoulder to see a tall boy was walking my way. He had curly brown hair and deep green eyes, and to my absolute horror, he was heading straight for me, catching the attention of everyone he passed.

“Hi,” he said with an adorable grin, as he settled in the chair across from me.

“Um... Hi,” I replied lamely, baffled as to why this extremely cute boy was talking to me.

A somber look came over his eyes; I could feel the stares of the students boring into my back.

“You’re April, right?” he asked hesitantly, eyes raking over my face.

I nodded wordlessly, a little nervous.

“I’m Jason,” he said, flashing another charming smile.

“Nice to meet you, Jason,” I murmured shyly.

“Uh, listen; don’t pay attention to what people are saying about you, okay?”

I lifted my head to look at him. “What are they saying?” I asked dully.

He shook his head, green eyes glittering. “It doesn’t matter, ‘cause it’s not true. At least, I hope it’s not. The rumors usually follow new students, though, so don’t take it personally.”

I nodded understandingly, feeling empty inside. I glanced wearily around the lunchroom, wishing I was home.

“Like by tomorrow,” Jason said, sighing in mock disappointment. “Everyone’s probably gonna say you’re my girlfriend.”

I blushed and looked at my hands in my lap, at a loss at what to say. Jason seemed like the kind of guy whom conversation came easy. Something about him made me nervous, and I couldn’t look him straight in the eye.

“So you’re from Alabama, right?” Jason said to break the awkward silence.

I nodded drearily.

“Do you miss it?” he asked softly, and I looked up to see his eyes were guarded, and he looked sympathetic.

I shrugged. “A little.”

“Cause you’ve looked pretty miserable all day.”

I sighed. “You would too,” I murmured, “if you had to move to a completely different school.” And leave your loved ones behind, I added mentally.

“I guess,” Jason said quietly.

Silence fell over us again, and I didn’t want to be the one to speak first.

“But you can always make new friends, right?” he asked pensively after a few seconds.

“I guess,” I replied, shrugging, wondering if he could read my mind.

“Are you gonna eat that?” Jason asked after a moment, nodding towards my lunch tray.

I shook my head.

“You’ll learn to bring your lunch after a couple days. The lunch here sucks.”

I smirked and was saved to answer by the bell, which rang out through the cafeteria. Everyone began to stand, and I did the same, so did Jason.

“So where’re you going next?” Jason asked as I pushed in my chair, walking around the table to walk by my side. I couldn’t ignore those venomous stares of nearby girls as I walked beside Jason, following the line out of the lunch room. Jason was oblivious to their acidic gazes, keeping his bright eyes straight ahead.

“I think Science,” I said quietly, staring down at my feet as a pair of girls looked from Jason to me and then burst into giggles.

Jason’s face broke out into a dazzling smile. “Cool. Me too.”

I smiled slightly, surprised that I was able to. I noticed vaguely Jason was the same height as me, which was pretty rare. Usually boys didn’t hit their growth spurt until the seventh or eighth grade. Most boys in the sixth grade were puny and scrawny and immature, but Jason seemed to be a wondrous exception to all that.

As I walked by Jason’s side and he told me all about Lincoln Middle school, I wondered if I’d ever form a friendship as strong as prior ones with him. Maybe he’d get bored with me because I was so unresponsive and quiet. Maybe that was why he’d approached me in the first place. It didn’t matter why Jason had come to introduce himself, but I was highly grateful he’d chosen me to talk to.