Chapter 1

Chapter One

 

~Chapter 1~

 

 

 

April.

 

 

August

 

I

 

If you make a promise to someone, you’re obliged to keep it, right? You’re supposed to go against any circumstances to prevent anything from breaking your pledge. But if it was something so enticing, or just simply something you didn’t have to authority to stop, what then? You’re only a kid, nobody will listen to you. You can kick and scream and plead and beg, but life is what it is: cruel and unreasonable. In the end, the sensible win. And usually a ten-year-old isn’t one to be counted as sensible. I wasn’t exactly the president of maturity. And what was some childish promise to an adult?

        I knew I’d feel extremely guilty for the rest of my life. Because when I was five, I made a promise to my best friend Lucas. I had promised him we’d be best friends forever. I crossed my heart and swore we’d never be apart. Sure, I was only five. I didn’t understand the meaning of a promise. But it still counted, according to Lucas.

        But now Dad had passed away. And since Mom had died before I even got to know her, that only left me in the hands of my protective twenty-four-year old brother Derek.

        The problem? He lived in New York. This forced me to leave my safe, small town in Alabama, and move to a rowdy city that never slept.

        When I first was informed of my father’s death, of course the first thing in my mind was shock. I couldn’t believe he was gone. I couldn’t believe he was stupid enough to get himself into another car accident. Then came the sadness. I sobbed for the loss of my father for days, while Lucas comforted me.

        But after all the fuss was over and I’d gone to the funeral and seen my father for the last time, looking like a complete stranger lying in that casket, I was informed of my impending move to New York. Then I was sure I was going to kill myself. The very word move made me cringe in disapproval.

        I had been living with the Johnsons for the few weeks that they got things ready for Dad’s funeral. This part wasn’t a problem—I practically lived with them anyway. Living with Lucas wasn’t any different from seeing him every day. I had known the Johnsons since we first moved in, when I was about four years old. They were kind neighbors, and my father always trusted them to watch over me, so it only made sense they’d put a roof over my head when my father wasn’t able to.

        Of course, my brother wasn’t completely oblivious. When Derek had found out about Dad’s death, the first thing he did was make sure his little sister would be under his guidance. I wanted Derek to move to Alabama. I couldn’t leave this place; it was my home. But of course, the boring, serious, workaholic adult said no.

        I had already said goodbye to everything. I told my science teacher Mrs. Foster farewell; all my classmates; Mrs. Busche, who lives next door, even Mr. and Mrs. Johnson and their newborn baby, Tyler. I had said goodbye to my house, to the orange tree out back, to the tree house my father had built me when I complained for privacy, to the old man that greeted me whenever I visited the grocery store, even the cat that lingered around my neighborhood but didn’t seem to belong to anyone. But the hardest part of all was saying goodbye to Lucas.

 

*   *   *

The night before I was supposed to move out, I couldn’t sleep. I had been provided with the guest room for my short stay at the Johnsons’, and the room was fairly comfortable. I had slept soundly in this room until I found out about the move.

        Then I had stayed up every night and stared out the window, hoping maybe an answer would fall magically out of the sky, though I wasn’t one to believe in magic.

        I sat on the windowsill with my legs pulled up to my chest, my head resting on my knees. I bet I looked like a mess. My face was tear-streaked from sobbing and my hair felt like an untidy mess of curls. I remember how cold I felt that night, and not because I wore a thin nightdress or sat by the window. The cold seemed to come from within, and seeped into core of my being and made me feel terrible. Terrible and guilty for breaking my promise.

        How would I live without Lucas? It sounded a little melodramatic, but it was true. Whenever I was in need of consolation or comfort, Lucas was there. When I hurt myself or someone else did, he was there to help. Always. Who would help me now?

        Maybe I was being selfish. For all I knew Lucas wanted me to leave for all the times I’d bugged him. I was blessed. I didn’t think many people had someone they could relate to so easily, someone to pick them up when they fell down. Nobody could replace him.

        “April?” someone whispered from behind. No, not someone—I would always know that voice.

        I didn’t turn my head; just kept gazing out the window, up at the moon. So many memories plagued me at that moment as I watched the silver disc in the sky.

        Lucas wondering who hung the moon in the sky and why... telling me maybe we had clones on some other planet, looking down at us right now... guessing every dot in the sky stood for each person in the world, and everyone had their own star.

        “April,” I heard him murmur quietly from behind me, closer now. I felt his hand on my back and turned warm, though I was used to this. His contact never failed to affect me.

        “Are you crying?” he whispered, tilting my head with his finger so I was looking at him.

        I looked at him lamely, wiping furiously at the tears in my eyes. “No,” I growled, and straightened. I stood and walked past him to my bed, and sat angrily on the edge, glaring at my bare feet.

        I saw him sigh and walk over to me, and felt him plop down beside me.

        “I can’t believe you’re really leaving.”

        I wanted to reply, but my eyes filled with tears and the lump in my throat wouldn’t allow me to speak. I lifted my head to look at him, examined his features for what would be the second-to-last time.

        Honey-tinted hair, mouth that was so used to smiling, but now wore a mournful frown; bright flaming blue eyes wounded with unhappiness, light caramel skin that seemed paler than usual, almost ghostly under the moonlight.

        “I don’t want to go,” I cried, choking back another sob.

        He threw his arms around me into a hug, pulling me to him and letting me burrow my face into his scrawny shoulder, something we hadn’t done in a long time. My friendship with Lucas was not usually this intimate; we were more comfortable joking around with each other. Warmth spread over me, and my heart reacted. I couldn’t compare anything to this feeling, just that I felt safe.

        “I don’t want you to leave either. But you know I’ll write to you,” Lucas whispered back.

        Lucas already had the new address to my house, and I knew he really would write me, though I tried not to get my hopes up. I had already broken my promise, so why should he keep his word?

        His family was losing money, and he wouldn’t be visiting anytime soon. Things were only going to get worse, for him and me both. Derek couldn’t afford to pay for a trip to Alabama either. And if I did see my best friend again, I didn’t know if this friendship would be as effortless, if it even existed then.

        I had always pictured Lucas and me growing up together. Now everything was a mess, and I didn’t know what to expect. It was horrible, like walking into a dark room blind and deaf, knowing you had to get to the other side to get to safety. You didn’t know what lied ahead, but you had to get through it.

        Lucas released me and wiped away my tears and I looked at his face to see his sadness mirrored mine. I was wrong—he would miss me as much as I would miss him. I could tell when he was being serious.

        I sniffed and got back into my bed, and Lucas lied beside me, propping himself up with one elbow on a pillow. His vivid eyes ran over the sheets, his brows drawn together. He looked frustrated rather than miserable.

        “We haven’t really talked about this,” he muttered.

        I didn’t respond, too wrapped up in my jumbled thoughts.

        Then his expression smoothed again and he met my gaze. “Do you think... we’ll still be friends?” he whispered. “In the future, I mean.”

        I swallowed and sniffed again, and looked up at the ceiling. I didn’t know how to answer him.

        “I’m not psychic,” I muttered.

        His lip twitched, and then he sighed and flipped onto his back, staring up at the ceiling with me, folding his arms behind his head.

        “I wonder how we’ll both end up,” he mused.

        I shrugged.

        He pursed his lips. “I think... maybe you’ll end up the first woman president, and I’ll be your bodyguard. Or maybe I’ll end up selling hot dogs like Mom predicted.” He grinned over at me.

        His attempt at distracting me worked; I spluttered a pathetic laugh.

        “Everything will be fine, April,” Lucas assured me when he noticed the false note in my laugh. “Trust me.”

        “It’s all I ever do,” I reminded him.

        “True.”

        We were silent for a moment, our words hanging in the air like an unfinished sentence. I could tell he was lost in his own warped train of thought, but my mind was blank. I had spent my free time over-thinking everything. Now my mind was empty, and I was hollow inside. I accepted the impossible, I’d thought about it enough, what was left was to cry until I ran out of tears.

        “I wonder if I’ll get along with people at my new school,” I sighed.

        “Maybe they’ll all be jerks. Then you’ll run away and come back here again.”

        I bit back a smile at that impractical possibility. “Maybe.”

        “You know you’re always welcome here. If we have to move to a smaller house—which is very likely—I’ll kick Tyler out and make him sleep in the doghouse so you could take his room.”

        I couldn’t hide my smile before he saw it this time, and he beamed a smile that made his eyes light up in triumph. He wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer. Again, this wasn’t the way we usually acted around each other, and I felt my face redden deeply.

        We were silent for an immeasurable moment again, and I was the one to break the quiet.

        “Lucas,” I whispered, my heart racing. Lucas’s arm wrapped around me, I could hardly concentrate on what I was saying.

        “Yeah?”

        “I’m sorry.”

        He was silent for a moment. “For...?”

        “For breaking my promise.” I didn’t have to explain it any further than that, I knew he understood. I knew it was the first thing he’d thought of when he’d heard I’d have to move.

        Lucas stayed silent this time, pondering again. I held my breath, swallowing the lump in my throat. And I kept waiting for him to tell me that it was okay, that he forgave me, but he didn’t.

        “I’ll miss you,” he said quietly, serious again. But these weren’t the words I was looking for.

        “Maybe I should escape,” he considered suddenly, pursing his lips.

        “You can’t do everything I do,” I reminded him, though I couldn’t deny the fact that a plan was hatching in my mind.

        “Yeah, I can. And more.”

        “You know what I mean,” I mumbled. I dabbed at the tears in my eyes with my nightgown. “If I jumped off a bridge, would you?” I probably shouldn’t have asked that question, I thought suddenly.

        He pursed his lips, pondering. Finally, he answered, “No.”

        “Exactly,” I said, a little wounded.

        “I wouldn’t jump with you; I’d be at the bottom to catch you.”

        I thought about that for a moment, and then smiled a little.

        And I drifted off to sleep a little shaken, because I was positive I would see Lucas again tomorrow. But as I said before, I wasn’t psychic.

 

*   *   *

 

“Are you sure?” I asked for the fifth time to Mrs. Johnson. I could tell I was beginning to annoy her, but she was too nice to let it show. She was a tall, pretty woman with glossy honey-tinted hair like Lucas’s, and a warmhearted smile. She held baby Tyler in her arms, who had his thumb in his mouth and was staring at me solemnly. Of all the times that baby was gleeful; it chose this particular moment to wear an expression of sadness.

        Mrs. Johnson was looking down at me, stricken with worry. “I’m sorry, dear, I can’t find Lucas.”

        I resisted the urge to cry. I nodded solemnly, my head spinning. How could he let me leave without saying goodbye?

        “I think maybe he’s too upset to say goodbye,” Mrs. Johnson assured me with a comforting pat on the shoulder, like she could read my mind.

        I nodded again, but the movement was involuntary. I was so numb I hardly felt when she gave me a hug and said her goodbye, or as Derek walked me to the car. I got into the passenger seat without thinking after dropping my luggage in the trunk. I stared blindly at Mrs. Johnson and little Tyler waving as we drove away, and then at the road as Derek drove. Derek didn’t say anything for a while, probably sensing how forlorn I felt at that moment.

        I couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing Lucas’s bright, warm smile every day. I had been hoping that today I would see it for the last time.

        But why would he do this? Had it all been in my mind when I’d guessed that he really didn’t want me gone? If so, then I was so much more shallow than I thought.

        “Is this boy the one I saw last time I visited?” Derek asked softly from beside me.

        I looked over at him. Derek was a tall guy with coffee brown hair and fair skin, dark brown eyes and narrow features. Other than his tousled hair, he was well kept and handsome. I didn’t look much like him—with my unruly curly black hair, my skin a darker shade of caramel than his. The only thing I thought we had in common was our dry sense of humor and the color of our eyes.

        “Yes,” I answered flatly, afraid my voice would stay that way for the rest of my life.

        “Don’t worry, April, this crush will blow over soon.”

        I stared at him blankly until he looked over at me.

        “What?” he questioned nervously.

        “Crush?” Derek flinched at my venomous tone.

        He didn’t respond, just stared straight ahead at the setting sun. I always enjoyed the sunsets in Alabama, and I should’ve experienced my last one, but I was so steamed I wasn’t even thinking about it right now.

        “Isn’t that it?” Derek finally murmured.

        “No, that’s not it. I don’t have a crush on Lucas. He’s my best friend.”

        Derek knew I wasn’t in the mood to hear his critiques, but I knew what he was thinking. What girl has a boy for a best friend?

        I knew plenty of girls who had boys as their friends, so why was it so strange when applied to me? Why did it seem so impossible a girl could be best friends with a boy and they didn’t like each other that way? Why was it weird I related better to a boy than other girls?

        I crossed my arms angrily over my chest, jaw set, but as steamed as I was, I felt the fresh tears in my eyes. I glared out the window at the day's end, wishing for a better day tomorrow, though I knew that wasn’t likely.

Reviews

[woodenelephant]

I love this! your writing is amazing. can't wait to continue on :)