Chapter Ten

Chapter 10

     When I got home from school I took a moment at the front door.  I stood for few seconds thinking of an appropriate prayer that would somehow swallow me up and barf me out at tomorrow when all of this was over and done.  Thinking again at how impossible that was I just decided to pray for my soul since I was now courting with death.  My Dad was at work and my mom was the only one home so that was a good start.  She can talk a good lecture, but is relatively harmless and just doesn’t reek of the disappointment that always flows so freely from Dad at times like these.  No time like the present.  Jump in with both feet.  Here we go!  I slowly opened the door and was caught off guard by how loud the door could actually creak. It was as if the thing had the gull to beckon my mother from the depths of the house to meet me right at the front door.  Eye to eye. Lump in my throat.

     “Hi” was all I managed to squeak out.

     “How was your day?” my mom asked as she turned to enter the kitchen. 

     “Well,” I began, “it was good and it was bad.”

     “Oh?” she said and turned to give me her full attention.

     “I got my report card today.”

     “Fantastic! Can I see it?”

     I slowly handed it to her and she could see by my expression that it wasn’t going to be good.  She kept full eye contact with me as she took the folded slip of paper I was handed in homeroom and carefully and meticulously opened it.  Her eyes only left mine to languidly fall upon the array of what would be considered unacceptable marks.  Her lips tightened and her eyes squinted as if she could make the the D’s and C’s magically melded into B’s and A’s.  I knew she couldn’t because I had already tried that one.  She gently set the paper on the counter and her look alone was the only thing to ask “What is wrong with you!?”.  My breathing stopped the moment she released eye contact with me to glance at the report card and I hadn’t taken a breath since.  Oddly enough, breathing didn’t rank in any great importance at the present moment.

     “Well,” she began, “I’m sure you are going to tell me what happened?”

     She walked over to the kitchen table and sat down in a chair and turned the floor over to me.  I desperately searched my head for answers or excuses or song lyrics or anything that I could muster out of my head, but my thoughts had abandoned me.  Why!?  When I need my mind the most it deserts me!  I slowly walked to the table and sat down opposite of her.  I figured the simple act of moving would kill some time.

     “I haven’t been paying attention to my schoolwork.” I mumbled low and somewhat incoherently.

     “That’s it? That’s all you have for me?”

     “High school isn’t as easy as middle school. There are so many people and so many things going on and I’m having a hard time balancing everything, but I know I made some mistakes and I’m trying to fix things.”

     “Does this have anything to do with the Lester and Chris and Star thing you told me about?”

     “Kinda.”

     “Trinity, these kids are not going to get you into college.  Your grades are going to do that and if they are lousy then you won’t have much of a choice of where you’ll go!  School has got to be the most important thing in your life right now.  Do your schoolwork, get good marks and then afterwards worry about who likes who.  So what’s done is done.  What are you going to do about it?”

     “I’ve talked to all of my teachers.  They’ve given me extra work and I got notes from classmates.  I’m going to make it up.  I promise you.  Can I have amnesty just this once considering I’m new to just about everything?”

     “Okay, I’ll do this for you.  I am very encouraged that you took the initiative to talk with all of your teachers before you brought your report card home.  That does mean something to me.  I do also understand that you are in a totally new environment than you are use to.  I was young once too Trinity and I know what you are going through.  I can remember back that far believe it or not.  So I’ll do this for you, I’ll talk with your Dad and take the blow of it off of you.  I’ll show him your grades and explain what you are doing and maybe he’ll give you a chance to prove yourself.  I really don’t see why he wouldn’t.  But, if the grades don’t start coming up by interim reports then I’m going to have to let Dad go and you get to deal with him alone.  Sound fair?”

     I could feel my held breath release and my whole body seemed to melt into the chair.  My shoulders suddenly felt as light as feathers and I couldn’t help but to smile.

     “Yes Mom.  That sounds fair,” I said with apparent relief.

     “I’m not letting you off easy you know so don’t think you got away with anything. I’m watching you.”

     She got up, kissed my forehead and then left the kitchen leaving me sitting there alone and wondering what just happened.  I did it.  I actually prevented my own death and I didn’t even get a giant lecture.  She must have been really disappointed.  Either that or trying to figure out how to tell Dad.  That night at dinner I understood her silence.  Never underestimate your mother!

Dinner started the same as usual with the general chaos of dishes and glasses clanking as food was being set on the table and drinks being poured.  Mom and Dad were strict advocates for family dinners.  They said that they deserved at least a small amount of time when everyone was together all in one place.  With everything on the table, we all adjourned to our proper places and began the dressing of our plates.  Once everyone had gotten everything they needed and the passing requests had dwindled Mom spoke up.

     “So Jeff, the kids got their report cards today.”

     “Wonderful!  How did we do guys?”

     My eyes darted to my mother frantically searching her face for some reason why she would put me in this position.  She casually looked over at me and winked.  Traitor!

     “Well, Trinity had a few small problems,” she said with a coy tone to her voice.

     “Go on,” Dad urged cautiously with quick looks in my direction.

     I decided to keep my mouth shut and see where Mom was going with this one.

     “She got a few low grades, but you know these things really do happen with such a large transition like she is going through.”

     “Large transition?”

     “Oh Jeff, she’s a teenage girl.  High school is this huge world and she got off track a little. I did the same when I was her age and started high school.  It’s like you guys getting all sporty and forgetting the academics.  We’ve talked and I really think she has her head on straight now and she has actually talked to all of her teachers and knows what she needs to do to get back on that track.”

     “How bad were these grades?”

     I don’t think Mom was expecting this question because her expression when she look at me was one of unanswered surprise.

     “Oh there was a C or two and I think one D.  I don’t really remember, but I told her that her grades needed to show improvement by her interim reports in a month.”

     “And she can’t leave the house until then?” Dad asked looking hard at Mom.

     “Can’t we just give her a break this time and see what she does with it?  She made a mistake and knows it and has already taken steps to correct it.  Let’s just trust her with this and she what happens at interims.”

     Way to go Mom!  Start out casual then move to vagueness and then follow up with begging.  I’m taking notes.  Dad was quiet for a moment.  He pushed around some string beans on his plate and occasionally glanced up at Mom and me and finally he sighed and I knew the verdict was in.

     “Okay, this one time, but you know that school is priority and if those grades don’t improve then you are grounded until they do.”

     “Yes, sir,” I said with complete humility.

     My mom looked smug, but my Dad still kept a stiff posture and didn’t say much through dinner.  I had escaped the death penalty and got probation instead. Luckily Bryan’s report card was all A’s and B’s therefore that took a lot of the tension out of the air since everyone had to be chipper.  After all, Bryan’s accomplishments shouldn’t be overshadowed by my failures and most importantly, it took the focus off of me.  Later that night, Dad did visit my room to tell me he was very disappointed in me, but understood how easily it could happen.  He said he had the same thing happen in his first year of college. He was young and away from home and the people and things around him were far more interesting than schoolwork.  My chance was clean and not riddled with guilt and that made me not only good, but motivated to continue with my path to success.  Now with the home front conquered, I knew there was more work to be done at school.

     The next day school drug on in the usual fashion in the morning. I tried to focus on my classes, but flashes of my friends raced through my mind. I had to apologize to them all.  I knew I had been such an embarrassing creep.  I watched Star from across the room in Art.  Every so often she would throw sad glances at me which made me feel two inches tall.  I kept my head low and followed five people behind her out of class.  Through the halls I could see Star meet up with Chris and saw the happiness in their eyes.  They were truly in love and I was so dimwitted as to believe that I had any chance at all.  I started to feel ashamed of myself and it was then that I realized that friendship was far more important than boys and that Chris was trying to be my friend too and I took him the entirely wrong way.  I knew I had to say something to them all and at lunch I put my books in my locker and set out on the mission to do just that.

     I knew they all sat at lunch together outside sometimes and when I entered the cafeteria and didn’t see them then I knew where they were.  I walked past Meg, Maggie and Marissa, but they didn’t say a word.  They could tell by my expression that I meant business and they weren’t going to stand in my way nor were they going to follow and that was a relief.  As I walked out the back door I could immediately hear Summer’s flirtatious laughter and headed directly for it and found everyone I was looking for all in one group.  As I walked up all laughter ceased along with movement and talking and all eyes rested on me.  Summer propped a hand on her hip and lifted her chin with defiance.  Amber looked apprehensive like she didn’t know what would happen next.  Chris immediately looked down at his feet in discomfort.  Star was the only one to look straight into my eyes without judgement and it was her that I started with first.

     “I have been a complete idiot and I am so sorry for hurting your feelings.  I’m not asking for forgiveness because I have been such a lousy friend that I’m not too sure I deserve it.  I just wanted you to know that I am truly sorry.  I’m sorry to all of you too,” I said as I took my gaze off Star and looked around at the other faces that had become soft and compassionate, “I didn’t mean all the things I said and I wish I could take them back.  They were hurtful and mean and cruel and I was just confused and not being a good friend.  Chris, I am sorry to you too.  You tried to be a good friend and neighbor to me and I took it the wrong way and made you angry and uncomfortable.”

     I could feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes and I struggled to hold them back.  There was a moment of stillness before Star slowly moved and wrapped her arms around me in a hug.  That gesture alone broke the levies and the tears flowed warm and plentiful down my face as I wrapped my arms around her.  I missed Star.  I missed our budding friendship and like my promise to my parents, I promised Star this would never happen again.  Summer, Amber and Chris joined in the hug and I could feel my heart pounding with relief and warmth from good friends.  Suddenly I could feel the presences of others and turned to see Meg, Maggie and Marissa behind me.  I reached out with one arm and they too melted into the group.  When the people ball had disbanded, I introduced everyone and felt consoled at last.  Now I had ALL of my friends together and was at peace with myself and decided to leave it at that.  We had a great lunch talking until the bell rang and we were off.  The rest of the afternoon would be a cake walk since we had a school performance that day.  The drama club was performing Romeo and Juliet and I was hoping I’d be able to find everyone so that we could sit together. 

     We were excused to the play in 4th period and as I walked the halls I slowly found everyone.  Everyone except Star.  

     “Where’s Star?” I asked Summer as she caught up with the group.

     “I don’t know.  I haven’t seen her.  I guess we’ll either see her in there or catch her when we get out.”

     By this point we were already in the auditorium and taking our seats.  The giant room was packed with students and along the sides of the room were the teachers, administrators as well as students from the journalism classes and school paper.  Mr. Montclaire quieted everyone down and began to introduce Ms. Sims the drama teacher who spoke of how delighted and proud she was of her drama club and how hard they had worked.  She encouraged us all to sit back and enjoy the show.  She also mentioned that tickets would be sold at the door for tonight’s performance.  With her exit, the lights dimmed and the show began.

     The curtain lifted upon the fair city of Verona as Juliet perched on her balcony with her head on her hand looking bored.  Her long blonde hair hid half of her face and when she turned towards the crowd my jaw hit the ground.  It was Star!!  Star was Juliet!!  I quickly looked at Summer who was sitting beside me and she obviously didn’t know either because by the time I looked at her...she was already looking at me!  We both turned towards Amber who was already open-mouthed and big-eyed waiting for our attention.  I looked around the room and saw that Meg and Maggie had the same look on their faces too.  It took me a while, but I found Chris, who was sitting closer than I thought, and he just turned toward us all and smiled.  He knew the whole time!  We couldn’t let go of our surprise as we watched Star walk through the crowds in the market place and accidentally bump into Romeo.  Right when we thought we couldn’t be more surprised, did Romeo turn around and was played by Tom Martin!! Tom Martin!! He was the senior Star had been seen all over school with!  My hand quickly flew to my mouth and my glance went directly to Chris this time who was obviously laughing and turning red trying to keep as quiet as possible.  I looked at Summer and Amber who stared at the stage in complete awe.  To be honest, I really didn’t watch the play.  My surprise and shock took away my ability to understand anything practical that was going on up on the stage.  Suddenly everything seemed to make sense.  As Romeo climbed up the ladder and  Juliet slowly moved in for the kiss, I immediately knew that Star was not having an affair.  She was rehearsing!  Not only was she rehearsing, but Chris knew the whole time!  If I didn’t feel stupid before, then I sure did now.  As the curtain closed and the lights slowly lifted, we clapped and laughed at each other.  None of us had expected anything and we were all completely shocked as we clapped as loud as we could for our friend who was taking her bow with her co-star.  The room was spinning with ovations and laughter and I hardly noticed a boy that I didn’t recognize reach over to me and hand me an envelope.  I absentmindedly took what he offered and continued to clap as we filed out of the auditorium.  We all couldn’t stop laughing and Star broke out in laughter as well when she saw us in the hall.  She was still dressed as Juliet and introduced us to Tom who politely said “hello” then excused himself to be with his friends.  

     “I am sorry once again Star,” I began, “I didn’t even know you were in the drama club.”

     “I didn’t tell anyone because I wasn’t sure if it would work out.  I’ve never done anything like this before and when I found out I got the part of Juliet it was just too much to believe and then things started to happen so fast that I never got a chance to tell you.  There really was no way you could have known.”

     Chris came up behind Star and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek.  

     “I wish I had a camera! If you could see all of your faces, then you would be on the floor laughing!” Chris said quite amused with the whole situation.

     “I’m sorry I couldn’t see from up there!” Star added, “Hey, Trinity.  What’s in the envelope?”

     “The what?” I said as I looked down at the envelope.

     “Where did you get it from?” Summer asked.

     “I don’t know.  Some guy gave it to me,” I said in a dismissive tone.

     “Well open it!” Amber squeaked.

     I turned the envelope over and opened the flap.  Inside where 8 tickets to a teen club  advertising a group named Seance.  There was also a folded piece of paper with typing on it.  I opened the paper and read the contents quietly to myself.

High upon that hilltop

Is where I’ll make my stand

And give to you that flower

If you will take my hand

     I folded the paper in half and looked up into 4 pairs of questioning eyes.

     “It’s him,” I said.

     “It’s who?” asked Amber.

     “I keep getting notes. I’ve had 5 altogether.  One was from Lester Polansky so that doesn’t count.  This is the 4th real one.  Who is Seance?”

     “May I read it?” Star asked.

     She read the note out loud for everyone to hear and then looked up at me.

     “And you were interested in me?” Chris said with a snort, “I can’t write like that.”

     “Trinity, this is a love poem.  This has been going on the whole time?” Star asked compassionately.

     “Yes,” I said weakly feeling somewhat ashamed.

     “Seance is the name of a local band,” Summer said, “I hear they are pretty good.  Whoever this guy is then obviously we wants you there for the concert.  When is it?”

     “Tonight.”

     “Well, then I guess we all have a date!” Chris said with a smug grin and he walked away hand in hand with Star.