Chapter Six

 Chapter Six

 

     Mom was in a pretty good mood when I got home.  She had finished up her latest novel and was sitting at the kitchen table looking at sale papers when I walked in.

     “Trinity is that you?” I heard her yell from the kitchen.

     “Yeah,” I yelled back and walked towards the kitchen.

     I dropped my things on the floor and went to the fridge for a soda.  After the day’s events I could barely feel myself move.  All of body motions were completely involuntary and for a moment I actually had to stop and think if I wanted that soda or not.   I noticed Mom had made some chocolate chip cookies and I grabbed a couple on the way back to the table.  I guess I wasn’t too bad off since I did know I wanted those cookies.  Mom made the best chocolate chip cookies around. They were so simple too.  There weren’t any nuts or creepy things in them.  They were just good, old fashioned, chewy chocolate chip cookies.  I took another moment to back up and grab one more before  I slumped down in a chair beside my mom and took a deep sigh.

     “That bad?” Mom asked.

     “I don’t know.  These have been two confusing days.”

     “Sometimes if you just blurt out all your problems they won’t seem so bad after all,” my mom said as she set down her paper and turned her full attention to me.

     I gave my mom an apprehensive look.  I always told my mom everything.  Usually she could help and if she couldn’t then she did make me feel better and she was a great listener without being too judgmental.

     “Okay you asked for it,” I warned.  “Remember that guy Chris? Well, I really like him and he’s dating my friend Star.  I would love to see them break up, but it would also make me sad because I really like Star, but her and Chris’ happiness really bugs me.  Then all day today I’ve been seeing Star with this really cute senior so now I think she’s cheating on Chris and just thinking about the eminent break up makes me ecstatic.  Then I go to my locker this morning and there is a rose, came back this afternoon and there is a bag of candy, and walked in my English class only to find a letter sitting on my desk.  I completely made a fool of myself by yelling at Lester, whom I thought was leaving me this stuff, but he only admitted to the candy.  So there’s someone else watching me.  And to wrap up everything my workload is slowly increasing.”

     I took another deep breath and began nibbling on the cookies.

     “Hmmmm,” Mom said in amazement.  “Well it’s definitely been an interesting two days hasn’t it?”

     “Yeah,” I answered.  “I don’t want to go to school for four more years.  I don’t think I’ll make it.”

     “You’ll make it Trinity.  I just hate to tell you that it doesn’t get any better.  It just gets more complicated as you grow older.”

     “What should I do?”

     “Well, first take one thing at a time and prioritize.  First and foremost is  your schoolwork.  School is like your job and you’re job is to do the very best you possibly can.  Next, concern yourself with issues that directly affect you.  Take your secret admirer for instance.  I would consider that extremely flattering.  Sit back and enjoy it and that Lester guy you yelled at, I’m sure you apologized to him or at least will apologize tomorrow.  Now lastly, Star and Chris.  I’m sorry Trinity, it’s not your business.  If Chris is dating Star then obviously he likes her.  Be content being his friend and if you see Star with someone else then give her the benefit of the doubt if she is your friend.  Just because she’s talking to another guy doesn’t mean she’s cheating.  Remember if you’re really her friend you’d be supportive and a little respectful of her privacy.”

     “What about kissing?  Do I have to give her the benefit of the doubt for that too?”

     “I’m sure there is a reason.  Why would she be kissing some guy in the middle of the hallway for the world to see?”

     “You make everything sound so simple.”

     “Well, it’s simple for me because I’ve already been there.  It’s harder for you because you’re going through it now.  Years down the road Trinity you’ll look back on this as ‘the good ol’ days’ and wish these days were back again.”

     “Do you Mom?”

     “Sometimes I do, but on days like today I’m content with being an old woman.  Why don’t you go relax before you start in on your homework?”

     I smiled as I got up from the table and went to the living room to watch a little TV.  I was watching some music videos when I heard the door bell and went to open it.

     “Hey Trinity!  Are you busy?” Marissa said standing on the other side of the door with Meg, someone who looked exactly like Meg and another girl with long, silky brown hair and deep brown eyes. 

     “No,” I said surprised.  “Come on in!”

     Everyone shuffled in the hallway and followed me into the living room.

     “Trinity, these are two of my sisters.  This is Maggie,” Meg said pointing to her look alike “and this is Deborah.”

     “Are you two twins?” I asked obviously knowing what the answer was.

     “Yes we are!” Meg answered with great pride.

     “We’re identical.  Meggie is the oldest by about two minutes,” Maggie told me.

     We all started to chat a bit until my mom walked in to ask who was at the door.

     “Just some friends ma,” I told her when she walked in.  “This is Marissa, Meg, Maggie, and Deborah.”

     “Well hello.  If you all want, there are some cookies in the kitchen and soda in the fridge.  Trinity I’m taking Bryan to football practice.  Your Dad is going there straight from work tonight.”

     “Thanks Mom,” I said and led the troops through the house to the kitchen.  I poured sodas for everyone, grabbed the bowl of cookies and headed out to the living room.

     “So,” Maggie started.  “Meg has tried to catch me up on what I’ve missed so far, but it was a little sketchy.”

     Again I found myself taking a deep breath and re-telling the tale.  Marissa wasn’t familiar with any of this either.  

     “So Star is dating Chris?” Marissa asked seemingly while in thought.

     “Yes,” I confirmed.

     “And she’s kissing all over a senior in the halls?” Maggie asked with a bit shock to her voice.

     “Yes,” I confirmed again.

     “I just think that there would be more to it than that,” Marissa said.  “Why would she be cheating on Chris so openly and why hasn’t Chris noticed?  Has Chris noticed?”

     “I don’t think so,” I said.  “Although now that you mention it, I don’t know why he hasn’t seen anything when it seems half the school is talking about it.”

     “Is she that popular?” Meg asked.

     “No,” I said, “I was being indulgent.”

     “Trinity, I think we need to wait this one out.  I think things will play through if you just hang back and watch,” Maggie said.

     “That sounds like good advice,” Marissa agreed.

     So that was basically what was decided.  The subject changed to more pleasant topics and we got to know each other a little better.  I really enjoyed Maggie and Marissa.  They both seemed really mature and in control of their lives and emotions and, I hate to admit it, they made me feel a little inadequate although I still really liked them.  We had a great afternoon munching on cookies and talking over things.  It was really nice to have friends and I enjoyed their company.  By the time my mom got home we were getting a bit tired and all of us had schoolwork to do.  Each of them thanked my mom as they left for the cookies then I retreated to my room with my book bag in tow to work on schoolwork.

     After I finished my assignments I came out and did some personal reading while I waited for Dad to come home.  Last year I was in a classics phase, but this past year I began reading some of my mom’s historical romance novels.  She combined her two favorite genres – history and romance.  I never realized how well she wrote.  Her stories were so dreamy with beautiful people meeting and falling in love in the most seemingly ordinary places.  The men were gentle and sensitive and the women were proper and coy.    It was a bit strange sometimes to think that my mom had thoughts like this.  I mean, come on, this was my mother!  I did enjoy the books though and tried really hard to put out of my head that these sultry tales came from the office across from my bedroom.  It seemed like Mom was always writing or at least jotting down notes.  Dad always got a little irritated with Mom.  Every year they go away for their anniversary.  Usually it’s to some place beautiful and tropical.  Dad tries to relax and enjoy time alone with Mom and Mom pulls out her lap top and lets it rip.  Generally, Mom comes back with a finished novel and Dad comes home grumpy.

     Dad and Bryan came home from football practice.  Mom yelled at Bryan to leave his cleats outside by the door and Dad walked in looking exhausted.  Dad really enjoyed coaching the younger boys, but it was a lot of work and there were some times when he had to get to practice late because of work.  Those were the more-exhausting-than-usual days, but Dad never complained.  Bryan still had his football head on and came bounding in the house trying to discuss play strategy with Dad who was busy looking into every pot that was on the stove.  Bryan wasn’t a great player, but he had a solid arm and Dad really thought that he had a shot at being a decent quarterback.  What he lacked in skill though he more than made up for in enthusiasm.  Bryan was very technical and was good at working plays and knew exactly where everybody was at all times.  Dad said that it was a hard skill to teach and Bryan was a natural. 

     As we ate our dinner that night, I kept quiet although my mind was spinning out of control.  I certainly didn’t want to discuss my issues with the entire family.  It just wasn’t the place, but I knew something was brewing.  As we all chewed, the glances floated around.  It was only a matter of time before something was said and for some odd reason the topics generally started with me.  I frantically searched my mind for something that I could start that would point the ever-nosey parent finger at Bryan until…

     “So Trinity, would you like to tell your Dad about your secret admirer?”

     Oh betrayal!  My mom is generally cool like I said in the beginning.  I tell her everything.  I guess I still have a lot to learn.  In all fairness to Mom, I never told her not to saying anything.  On the other hand, I never told her to bring it up at dinner either.

     My fork had made it to my mouth with it’s contents when the comment was made and as I chewed the mouthful that was slowly getting more bitter by the minute my mind went completely blank as I squeezed my eyes shut and wished I was somewhere else.  Anywhere would be just fine.  One peek through my lids showed my Dad as he too was taken completely by surprise.  I love my Dad and we have a great relationship, but I really think that I stopped aging at 5 years old in his eyes.  I wasn’t quite sure that he could take the words “secret admirer” and now my mom wanted me to explain?  What did Dad do to deserve this punishment?

     I slowly swallowed what seemed to be an enormous mouthful and prayed that the mass wouldn’t lodge itself in my neck.  I felt my food go down every inch of my throat until it hit my stomach and fell there like a giant weight.  

     “Secret admirer?” my Dad uttered.

     “They were just a few notes Dad,” I said to try to play it off.

     “Oh come on Trinity,” my traitor mom started, “they were from two different guys.”

     “Two guys?” Dad said.

     “How’s your comic book coming along Bryan?” I tried to change the subject.

     “It’s not going to work, but nice try!” Bryan said and sat back with a grin.  

     “They were just a couple notes Daddy.  Nothing to serious.  Nothing bad.  That’s all.”

     “Do you know who they came from?”

     “Well, just one and he’s really gross.  He apologized and said he’d never do it again.”

     “Trinity, you threatened the poor boy!” Mom said.

     “Mom!” I quipped trying desperately to tell her to be quiet without telling her to be quiet.

     “You threatened him?” Dad said looking puzzled.

     “Yes.  No.  Well, kinda.  I mean, I told him to leave me alone.  There’s really nothing to tell.”

     “I know you’re getting to that age when you’re going to want to go out on dates.  I know you’re not 5 years old contrary to popular belief.  Can you just do me one favor?”

     “Sure Dad.”

     “Spare me the details.  Are you dating one of these guys?”

     “No.”

     “Do you want to date one of these guys?”

     “Not sure yet.”

     “Well, if you do decided to date one of these guys will you let me know before he picks you up so that I can get my threats in order?”

     “Of course Daddy.”

     “Good.”

     We finished up dinner quietly with an occasional mention of school stuff.  I didn’t really hold anything against Mom.  She liked Dad to be informed and since she is always around and he isn’t she’ll bring up stray thoughts from time to time at the dinner table.  Dinner really is like legalized gambling in our house.  You just never know when you’re going to have to show that losing hand that you’ve been desperate trying to bluff.  Bryan’s time will come and I can’t wait until it does.

     After dinner I helped Mom clean up the kitchen.  Mom would be glad to do it on her own, but there were times when I felt the need to help her out.

     “You’re not angry with me are you?” Mom asked sheepishly.

     “Well, you didn’t have to tell him did you?”

     “I thought it was cute.”

     “Cute?  What was cute?”

     “A secret admirer!  Okay, it’s not cute, but it’s exciting.  You really need to lighten up.”

     “I’m sorry Mom I’m just not seeing the excitement,” I said as I put the last dish into the dishwasher.

     Mom was hand washing some pots with a big grin on her face until she stopped to look right into my eyes.

     “Can you for once just enjoy something for what it is?  There is someone who cares enough about you to leave little notes for you to find.  Someone has taken their time to write these notes.  They are a secret because they are afraid of you acting the way you are right now to their face.  If you show some appreciation, then maybe your secret admirer will come out and reveal himself.”

     “I wish they had just kept their notes to themselves,” I said and went to my room. 

     I could feel my tears well up in my eyes.  I was so tired and so confused and I hated the fact that my mom was right and I hated the fact even more that I couldn’t tell her.  I reached under my mattress and pulled out my diary.

 

Dear Diary,

Is this really high school?  I found a best friend who is dating the guy that I like and is running around the school kissing someone else.  I have a secret admirer who keeps leaving me notes.  Mom says I should just enjoy it and if I seem gracious then he might come out and introduce himself.  Maybe she’s right.  Of course, she’s right.  I need to look at things a bit differently.  I’m just too tired to think anymore.

 

- Trinity