Demise on Countryside Road

Demise on Countryside Road

A Poem by Tazeen Ahmed
"

Live accident of a man...

"

Vehicles n wagons did blaze with rocket speedeth,

Hovering about art'rial highways with airspe'd.

We clench'd the scents of farms ‘nd ranches ‘nd fields,

wh're children with mud frolick'd and 'recteth gentle shields…

 

Alas! A chill wenteth up my spine; wretch'd my hairs, my spikes,

Amidst the boulevards, did lay a vuln'rable corse beside a motorbike!

Speckled and scattered bitter cold r'd hot blood untwin'd,

I wast quiv'ring and quaking; mine own weedy watches whin'd.

 

A l'rry might have collided and did dash hence;

Oh! The bolt'd eyes and detached forks did condense.

On a shirt as white as a cerecloth,

Some bright blood fountain'd and didst froth.

 

Anon that gent cannot plough n'r thresh n'r reap his fields,

Nor enchant his child with figurines and sweet delicacies.

The silence of nature didst boweth bef're the l'rd ,

F’r death is inevitable; an agonizing dynamism of soul’s conc'rd.

© 2017 Tazeen Ahmed


Author's Note

Tazeen Ahmed
Constructive criticism is much needed.

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Reviews

Hard, direct and strong use of words. I liked how you used the language. I enjoyed reading this poem.
"Anon that gent cannot plough n'r thresh n'r reap his fields,
Nor enchant his child with figurines and sweet delicacies.
The silence of nature didst boweth bef're the l'rd ,
F’r death is inevitable; an agonizing dynamism of soul’s conc'rd."
The above lines. I did like. Thank you Tazzen for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote



Posted 6 Years Ago


A very unique write. I could feel the scenery and the dust from the second group of lines. Also...great title!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Tazeen Ahmed

6 Years Ago

Thank you! I'm glad you like it ^_^
"The silence of nature didst boweth bef're the l'rd"
Everyone has bow before the Divine decree when it comes to death. THE INEVITABLE.
.
.
Great, and wonderful. The depiction was really AMAZING. And you've got really a unique style to it. :P

Posted 6 Years Ago


Tazeen Ahmed

6 Years Ago

Thank you for a lovely, insightful review! I really appreciate it :::)))
Ghania

6 Years Ago

You're welcom. =)
Brilliant writing! Unique in style. You pull this off expertly. A dramatic and regretful occurrence that the reader can partake in without excessive drama. Bravo :) I.I.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Tazeen Ahmed

6 Years Ago

I tried to drag more emotions, but I felt t'was fine the way t'was.

your review rea.. read more
Isabella Ivy

6 Years Ago

You are most welcome :)
Very vivid and emotive. I did find at times the old language distracting, but only in the beginning poem doesn't suffer from it. Good job

Posted 6 Years Ago


Tazeen Ahmed

6 Years Ago

i too find it difficult, but it kinda gives it an "old" feel...
thank you so much!!
*Welcome to "Pure Rhymes" Thanks for joining, great to have you...!*

A blend of olden phrase with lots of "new" feels to it... A motorbike and rocket zoometh...? My dynamism concurs... Death is inevitable among silence...

Posted 6 Years Ago


Tazeen Ahmed

6 Years Ago

yes, that is the very theme. you're right!
congratulations for creating "pure rhymes"!
.. read more
apennylate

6 Years Ago

Thank you, and you are most welcome
I like this Tazeen. I think the combination of modern setting in an olde English dialect worked as well. Not a good thing to witness but your description is spot on.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Tazeen Ahmed

6 Years Ago

yes, it was horrible ! i felt strongly the need to pen it down...Thank you so much for reviewing! i .. read more
I am frightened at the sight of an accident, never thought it would make a good poem.
Second stanza second line it should be 'corpse'

Posted 7 Years Ago


Tazeen Ahmed

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much:)
Corse is old English for body.
Najam Us Saher

6 Years Ago

Okay, I didn't know that. 😁
You are welcome.
Ghania

6 Years Ago

Even i didn't know that.
Was going to mention Corpse but then I read this. Thanks for telling.. read more
Amazing writing. Words are awesome to read.
Stay blessed. Keep working hard

Posted 7 Years Ago


Tazeen Ahmed

6 Years Ago

Thank you for an encouraging review! I really appreciate it.

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Added on November 4, 2017
Last Updated on November 4, 2017

Author

Tazeen Ahmed
Tazeen Ahmed

India



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