Path

A binary split of strait appeased me drownin',

An apocalypse struck me unconscious.

Senses  pricked horribly,

And then the reckoning and beckoning.

the waves doomed the murky sea before me.

 

Then the angel and the devil, gestured by my shoulders.

The short left trail, gorgeous and sparkling,  

The long right trail, filthy and ghastly.

My maneuver dwindled, flanked by faith and fraud.

 

"Oh, evil soul!" maniacally I went.

"Oh, take the path of deceit,

And you'll struggle no beast." went the devil.

The breeze toughened and havocked the sea.

"Oh! son of Adam!"  bellowed  my conscience.

"Take the path of legitimacy,

do justice to affinity." assured the angel.

 

I chose the path less traveled-by,

For real success comes with uphill struggle,

And fake success knocks with awkward ease.

 

 

Reviews

[Ayvid N]

For real success comes with uphill struggle,
And fake success knocks with awkward ease.
It boomerangs like KARMA.

Applause!

You have put some things back in the right persepective for me today. Thanks Tazeen.

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you!! I'm glad that you liked it! :::)))

[Ayvid N]

Its a favorite! ☺

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you again!

[abhishek srivastava]

Awsm one dear....given a great message...used a great theme.. Actually in one word i can say its suprb.....

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much

[Sapientiam]

This poem simply built up to such a wonderful message in the end. "Nothing worth having comes easy", I have always been told. Taking the hardest path will most likely give you the most reward because struggling is a key to success. The sea and the traveler was such a precise metaphor to describe the theme. Great job!

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much Sapientiam. I'm glad that you grasped the message outta here :)

[Sapientiam]

You're welcome!

[wordman]

you put a lot of effort in this great write,loved the image as well

[Tazeen Ahmed]

I always put my best to impress my audience.
Thank you so much for keeping your words here ::)))

[Alfred Kukitz]

I like the degree of plunge you gave to this piece of writing seemingly creating a real sea adventure. Amazed of your skill in writing at your age!

Regards,
Al

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much!!
That worths more than a quadrillion to me :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree my friend.
"I chose the path less travelled-by,
For real success comes with uphill struggle,
And fake success knocks with awkward ease.
It boomerangs like KARMA."
I liked the above lines. Karma always catches up with us. I believe. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much sir Coyote for the kind and encouraging review !!

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[Giulia King]

Wow! I don't know how to explain my love for this piece. You're so young but your mind is like an ocean of amazing thoughts. Well done on this piece! It's so powerful and I love the picture as well

[Tazeen Ahmed]

That you so much for the hearty review!!:)

[Giulia King]

You're welcome :)

[Sumit Ganguly]

Nice piece. Wish you success.

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much ^_^

[Shabeeh Haider]

A touch of spirituality in this very fine poem.
The path of doom always appeals to us but it is the path that is laden with thorns and trials that leads us to our final heavenly abode.

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Well said sir.
Your review seems as intense as your poetry.
Thank you so much!
You're so lucky to live in Makkah!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Alhamdulillah

[Tazeen Ahmed]

I've lived in Saudi and been to Umrah thrice.only those who have lived there will know the beauty of that place!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Which city did you live in?

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Al-Jubail.

[Giulia King]

Wow, you live in Makkah? That's amazing! My dream is to one day go there, Insha'Allah :)

[Shabeeh Haider]

Gullia, InShaAllah you will come here one day soon.

[Johnny Dep]

Simply, wow, and the message shown here is true but it's hard to agree.
Thank you Tazeen for sharing.

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you Mr Johnny for voicing your review and opinion.
I agree it's hard to keep up going the path of truth, but life returns what you give to life.

[Johnny Dep]

Yeah life returns what we give to it, but hard times should be in life.....No satisfaction in gaining without any sacrifice ....

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Absolutely!