Path

A binary split of strait appeased me drownin',

An apocalypse struck me unconscious.

Senses  pricked horribly,

And then the reckoning and beckoning.

the waves doomed the murky sea before me.

 

Then the angel and the devil, gestured by my shoulders.

The short left trail, gorgeous and sparkling,  

The long right trail, filthy and ghastly.

My maneuver dwindled, flanked by faith and fraud.

 

"Oh, evil soul!" maniacally I went.

"Oh, take the path of deceit,

And you'll struggle no beast." went the devil.

The breeze toughened and havocked the sea.

"Oh! son of Adam!"  bellowed  my conscience.

"Take the path of legitimacy,

do justice to affinity." assured the angel.

 

I chose the path less traveled-by,

For real success comes with uphill struggle,

And fake success knocks with awkward ease.

 

 

Reviews

[Joey Nizz]

Nicely done!
Nice selection of words and meaning.

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much^_^

[Joey Nizz]

your welcome ^^

[Bhargav]

wow!! the wordings are simply so cool.. keep it up!!

[Tazeen Ahmed]

thank u so much!!!

[iamshadowine]

"I chose the path less traveled-by,
For real success comes with uphill struggle,
And fake success knocks with awkward ease."

Wow! That's all i can say! Such a brilliant write up!

keep writing :D

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you very much Shadowine=)

[Miss Sharon]

(I chose the path less traveled-by, For real success comes with uphill struggle, And fake success knocks with awkward ease.) You are so young to have learned this bit of wisdom! Bravo...you have a great future with word-play my dear! ~Sharon

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much ^_^

[Ashwin Shanker]

It was going ever so smoothly until that BOOMERANG LIKE A KARMA line came and I was like WHAAAAA :P

It is as if A long shakespeare's speech of anthony is ending with a line like... 'Ya'll n****s gotta stand up for ma maan Caesar YO' !!! :P ... You get my point? I don't know if it was intentional but it does have an impact... Positive or not, is up to peoples perception

[Tazeen Ahmed]

bully! I pretty much get your point :p. I'm sure most people have the same perception as you!
well, thank you reading and reviewing ::::)))))

[Ashwin Shanker]

Sorry if you felt I was a bit harsh. But, I focus on giving honest feedback rather than blind praise.
So please take in the right spirit

[Tazeen Ahmed]

No, not at all. You really were honest and that's in fact,"helpful"!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"For real success comes with uphill struggle,
And fake success knocks with awkward ease.
It boomerangs like KARMA."

In this battle of choosing between good and evil, we often enough stray towards the evil side before finding our way towards the right one. Guess it's human nature.

A beautiful write, wonderfully expressed.
Good work 😊👍

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Absolutely!
Thank you so much for the kind review, Yumna.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You're welcome, Tazeen! A pleasure 😊

[Surya]

Your poem Path, is truly a path that you shown about happenings.loved last stanza.
Thank you Tazeen for sharing..:)

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you for the kind review ::)))

[John Alexander McFadyen]

An epic battle between good and evil. Choices we have to make in life are seldom simple. This reminded me of 'The Arabian Nights'. Dramatic and engaging.

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much!
Absolutely, the choice which we make has an equal impact.

[Isabella Ivy]

Enthusiastically and expressively written! Well done :-) I. I.

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you:)

[Isabella Ivy]

You are most welcome! I.I.

[Manu]

This is a brilliant piece, Tazeen. You have really good skills of writing. You are just 15 and still you could write this beautifully.
Loved the last last stanza a lot..it has great depth and meaning. Keep up the good work. Well done.

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much! It really made me smile :)