A DROP

The life cycle of a drop of water is personified...

I'm a precious pearl, purified in a shell

hushing and gushing , I wander unfurled

my eyes incessantly foist on strangers

my eternity imparts me distress

I was dropped from the ocean of sky

to explore the absurdities of nature

left grubby on the soil

as I could spot my beloved hung in the air

the soil filtered me as I chopped beneath

thousands intently soothed my guts

a faint light diminished dark days

as we were crawled  across the stream

a path led gorges to a saline sea

my beloved ,imminently chanting my name

lent me a hand , isolating my soul up the air

 

 

 

Author's Note

constructive criticism is welcome!

Reviews

[Surya]

That's beautiful...yeah you are a pearl, hushing and gushing, haha..
I enjoyed..:)

[apennylate]

This is breathtaking, the journey from what I thought it was, what it might be, and then the end hurling mine soul in the air... My being was absolutely stunned by your complex verbiage and smooth rhymes chopping along at a ruthless pace... Gorgeously laced wordplay leaves me wishing I could swim in an ocean of sky... Beautifully penned...

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much! It means a lot to me:::))))

[Isabella Ivy]

I relish 'grubby on the soil' :) Nice. Your descriptions are fantastic, but I'm confused at who the subject actually is! I thought I knew until the last 8 lines were added. But I don't claim to be quick! lol.And I often do like mostly one part of a poem. Still, maybe you can grant me something to cause me to understand, or give me the ability to connect the two(?) And then I'll read it again. I.I.

[Tazeen Ahmed]

well, thank you for reading!
the subject actually is a "drop of water" and this is a poem based on the "water cycle". Just figure out the stages portrayed here:)

[APOORVA]

super like it..!!
these words pour out a piece of your soul.

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much Apoorva!!::))

[APOORVA]

most welcome

[Abdur-Rehman Qadeer]

very wide scope... inspiring.. motivating......... and beautiful....... with a touch of nature...... a lot of things in a single poem.. ma sha Allah

[Tazeen Ahmed]

(Jazakallah)I appreciate your review! A similar description in the Quran...

[Abdur-Rehman Qadeer]

really? where? can you guide me? the ayah? or surah?

[Tazeen Ahmed]

“And We send down water from the sky according to (due) measure,and We cause it
to soak in the soil;and We certainly are able to drain it off (with ease).” [Al-Qur’an –Surah Al-Mumenoon -23:18]

[Tazeen Ahmed]

There are lines about the watercycle and rain in many surahs.

[Abdur-Rehman Qadeer]

subhan Allah......... yes..... and yes there's no better and beautiful inspiration than Quran

[Radhika. kumar]

All the words are put together in an orderly manner,which makes it easier for the readers to realte to.
it is a poem that speaks more than 1000 words.
keep it up.

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
I appreciate it!

[The dark story]

This is such a ravishing portrayal of the mind's image with colors of words. The diction is simple but induces a powerful and vivid images in the mind.
"dropped from the ocean of sky"
"soil filtered me as I chopped beneath"
"isolating my soul up the air"

These were my favourites lines. Loved it. It's a beautiful piece. Keep writing.

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you Atiba!!
That's really kind of you to read and review my stuff!! :))
Will be interested to check your work soon ^_^

[shade]

i like this,
i love how straight to the point it is, lots of poems try to hide something but this was nice...

goodwrite

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much for your worthy review!

[shade]

haha, worth? ok i got to ask what you mean by that

[Tazeen Ahmed]

I mean precious!

[shade]

ooooh well that makes more sense, i was kinda wonder what you met by worth

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Lol .......

[Lorry]

Nicely capturing the cycle of life with the thoughts behind the cycle we rarely contemplate completely, as our mind struggles with the here and now, yet everything and all follow similar paths, returning to what basic elements we are made from, recycled and reused eternally.
Beautiful thought to think that your piece most likely started with watching that single drop of water and expanded into this excellent write.

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you a ton! I really appreciate it! :)

[Lorry]

You're welcome :)

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Whoa, powerfully beautiful. A time when a series of events become poetic and packed with emotion. Great poesy! Tyfs!

"I'm a precious peal, purified in a shell," beautiful and glowing way of viewing ones self. Loved it.

"I was dropped from the ocean of sky," loved this line!

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Thank you so much for the appreciation!:)

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

You're most welcome!