With You

Am I in love?

Your deep green eyes, like full night sky's,

 That fill the wonder of the light,

 That lives inside, the stars, so bright,

 And as I feel, our heart's collide,

 I hope that you, will never lie,

 Cause when you look, into my eyes,

 I can see, a soul that's kind,

 And hopefully one, that can find,

 The pain I feel, The scars I hide,

 Maybe you, can help me find,

 The strength to heal, in due time,

 Just let me trust you, on this night,

 So you can help me, to take flight,

 I want to rise, I need to fly,

 To touch the stars, 

That shine so bright,

 That live within, 

Your deep green eyes, 

I want to fly,

 and live this life,

 With You.

Reviews

[Prototato]

Another unbelievably wonderful poem, Taz. It may sound weird ocming from a ocmplete stranger, but I'm felling a bit of pride for you. Keep up the good work! ^^

[Taz]

Thank you very much.

[Prototato]

You are very welcome. ^^

[OneAmongstMany]

Wonderful yet again. My piece of advice is don't be afraid to break up the rhyming sequences a bit more often - this can enable you to place more emphasis on certain lines that you want to stand out.

[Taz]

Thank you for the advice.

[LKBillips]

Your yearning to make a connection comes through clearly. Just one opening and the world is yours again. Heartfelt and vulnerable. Nice piece.

[Taz]

Thank you.

[Najam Us Saher]

This truly shows your longing to be with that person. I liked it. Well done.

[RuseInex]

transparency of one soul to another, the light,
the stars are your rapture of love and being,
of falling in love,
your wish for this person you have fallen for is crystal and clear,
your hope is sustained by the heavens,

[Taz]

...Thank you.

[Surya]

Cute and sweet with desire in end....I liked the way you described..:)

[Cameron Berry]

My only criticism is that the rhyming seems sometimes over done, and punctuation wouldn't hurt here. OTHERWISE! This was a nice piece and I like that you began and concluded with a reference to deep green eyes. Very nice. We all at one time or another feel this very deep longing to connect! Nice work.

[Sammie Sanchez]

aww, this one is cute, not like your other ones, but the poem is still as meaningful, good work

[Taz]

This one is not depressing lol. I like how this one turned out. I am glad you like it. :)

[Sammie Sanchez]

im here because i like other's peoples work, c: i enjoy reading them

[Taz]

I'm here because I figured I could just post my stuff somewhere and I stumbled upon this place.