Wolf Within

All about pain.

The wolf within my green eye

Says hello but feels goodbye

As I meet you now I know

No matter what you will go

You will leave me in the pain

Because you have nothing to gain

From this hurt and broken heart

You could fullfil the missing part

But you will leave cause you don't care 

Wolf feels this in her lair,

Arlready the pain is hurting me

Everything but hurt is meant to be,

Within.

Author's Note

Sorry for spelling mistakes.

Reviews

[APOORVA]

The wolf within my green eye
Says hello but feels goodbye
HOW I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THESE TWO LINES SPECIALLY THE LATER ONE. AWESOME


You will leave me in the pain
Because you have nothing to gain
PRACTICAL, REAL AND STRAIGHT FORWARDLY TRUE.



But you will leave cause you don't care
Wolf feels this in her lair, WOW WOW WOW! WHAT A FELL, COMMENDABLE
JUST MAKE SURE YOU GO SMOOTH WITH SPELLINGS REST I LOVED EVERY BIT OF IT.

[Taz]

Thank you so much, I love getting feedback such as yours.I am so happy you liked it.

[APOORVA]

Oh i loved it..specially starting 2 lines

[Taz]

Thank you.

[Joey Nizz]

I absolutely loved every word in each line, you have wrote this with beautiful imagery, I can't even choose which line or lines I liked because it was such an amazing read.

[Taz]

Thank you, Your words are taken to heart.

[Joey Nizz]

You are very much welcome :)

[The Exiled Wolf]

Says hello but feels goodbye
As I meet you now I know
No matter what you will go

-- I like the seemingly contradicting ideas put together - hello versus goodbye and meet versus go. They pump up the sad part when used together.

-- I notice that the rhyming scheme is unconventional. It links the previous part to the next part. I feel that it is nice for a shorter piece like this, but it feels a bit exhausting reading non-stop if this piece had been longer.

I also like how you use the image of a wolf in this piece - sensitive, quiet, maybe a little bit proud. I literally see a wolf in this piece. Good work!

[Taz]

Wolf is my spirit animal therefore I would eventually ue her in my poetry. I am happy you liked it.

[Taz]

*Use not ue.

[The Exiled Wolf]

Same here - wolf is my spirit animal. The only difference is that I see wolf as a "he" in my writings:)

[Prototato]

Spelling doesn't matter to me.
This is all such strong writing... there isn't much to read, but the way you write and what you pack in behind it...
You only need a little bit.

[Sikandar Khan]

Nice Poem...................

[Tazeen Ahmed]

"Wolf feels this in her lair,

Arlready the pain is hurting me

Everything but hurt is meant to be,

Within."
Wow! Well penned!
Hurt remains within us, well said.
You've got a really vivid and unique style of writing. I just love it!

[Taz]

Thank you very much.

[LKBillips]

This has a foreboding feel to it. Like any potential "mate" would leave you if you tried. Like an instant into greeting and knowing you like them you fear they would leave you no matter what the future may hold. I make me feel despairing, and lovelorn. Nice piece.
One line I didn't quite get was: "But you will leave cause but you don't care" did you mean to put cause and but together? 

[Taz]

Thanks for telling me of that, I fixed it.

[Surya]

Last three lines were fair enough to show a kind heart, and I liked your theme and your description...:), and no spelling mistakes i found..

[Taz]

Awsome thank you.