Goodbye

A sad story about death. With the hidden meaning of "Ring around the Rosies" song

The fall air chills me. I stare down at the multicolored leaves that blanket the earthy ground. The forest is my favorite place to be. A place where no one judges you. The trees are silent, and they listen. I tell them everything, and they don't judge. But one listens the best. She listens to all my problems, I spill my inner secrets to her. She understands. Now is the time. She approaches in her flowing black dress. Her rosy cheeks stand out on her porcelain skin. She pins a posy to my breast pocket. I slid into her embrace. I breathe her sweet scent in. She runs her hands through my hair, whispering words of comfort. We lie down on a bed of black roses as ashes fall from the stars. I fall asleep drowning in her hands. All trouble is gone as I am resting, resting in her arms forever.

Author's Note

What do you think? Please let me know how I can improve!

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is brilliant. I love the way you start out describing love of nature, then it morphs into a special tree that listens the best, then it continues to morph into the "Ring Around the Rosy" nursery rhyme (good thing you identified that in the title byline or I wouldn't have made the connection). This continual morphing feels natural & ties back to the beginning, thinking of "autumn" as the end of life. Your imagery is well-painted & woven into multiple meanings & metaphors. This reminds me of how the idea of death feels comforting to an old person like myself, becuz it will take me as I am, & gives me an excuse to not get too tangled up in worldwide strife. (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[AlternativePunker]

Thank you so much!
This means alot to me!

[Voice Crowe]

Very beautiful imagery and clever play on metaphor. LOVE this!

[AlternativePunker]

Thank you!!

[Zoya]

Serene, peaceful; beautiful words spilt on the page. Good job!

[AlternativePunker]

Thank you!

[Zoya]

No worries

[Jackie]

Thisnwas dark and pretty intense. Yet, i find solace as well.. A nice balance. And truly beautiful

[AlternativePunker]

Thank you so much!

[Ace Jaxon]

I'm so glad I decided to check this out it reminds me a time when I felt the same way, sometimes I still do, but I know that all will be alright in the end. I would give this greater than a 100/100 but it won't let me.

[AlternativePunker]

Thank You!! YOu are so nice!!