Hearts Arent Always Perfect

If it were easy I would tell you those sweet three words you so love to hear, though you haven't heard them from my lips, I would escape away from this mortal world into a place much happier than this and more at peace with people.  . . But, I cannot find those  three   words in my mind for you when you do nothing but lie to me to my face, So now what? All I find the time to do is sit and stare endlessly at the wall and think about hate, And my dear friend this hate is a stirring passion, meant only for you  . . . And I am stuck, In a dark place with nothing but pain and suffering, Is this  how this world will be forever until the end? If this is true, I want no part of it. I  lost the battle of life, But I will not say that I didn't try. And  with losing such a brave hard fought battle I have also lost  my will to change and I am forever in the dark. . .  My fate now is in a shallow and hollow grave. . .  I have learned to leave everything behind, And I believe one day you will to. . .  Everything is gone and lost, If tuning this world out doesn't do it, Well then I might as well give up on trying, I feel as if I am being buried alive with glances of hate towards me, It's pileing ontop of me leaving me running out of air each time I try to take a breath, I am judged by the cruel people we call family and friends , I get noticed for my wrong doing not for my good. . . No heart is perfect, Just remember that, Let it seep into your mind when you think yours is. . .  

Author's Note

Tell me what you think?

Reviews

[Melody]

Hmm...I'm going to be honest, because that's just what I do...Honesty.
As of now, it sounds like the normal teenage angst. HOWEVER! There is something that makes it blurt out "I HAVE POTENTIAL". The only thing I can say to fix it, is find the potential. Edit it, edit it, edit it, over and over again. Read it too. A writer getting in touch with their own piece, getting into the speaker's mind, it's something cool and helpful.
The line to me that stuck out the most, that held the most potential was...probably...:

"I have learned to leave everything behind...Everything is gone and lost."
Keep that line, do what you want to it, but if your really want something noticeable in this piece, it'll be that line.

I hope this helps.
Oh, and you're right. No heart is perfect.

:)
Chase the potential, my friend. You have talent, potential. Just chase it. Catch it. It'll be the either the brightest or the dullest of the fireflies. :)

[NicoleVanityMonroe]

Thabk you, I do believe this review will be the one that helps me the most because your honest and you will point out what needs work,I like that. Most people just tell me how good it is, Again thank you.

[NicoleVanityMonroe]

Thank*

[Melody]

Yeah, honest people are always nice to have around.
I know what you mean about people just telling you how good it is, and not telling you how to make it even better. It's a serious pet peeve of mine. Lol.
You're welcome, my friend. I wish you luck.

[NicoleVanityMonroe]

I'll keep trying!(:

[Melody]

MUCH better! It's almost heart breaking beautiful. :) Good job, my friend. You touched on a lot of the hidden potential.

[NicoleVanityMonroe]

Thank you! :)

[afra]

great ...well done

[Cheyenne Dotson]

Thats amazing Jake!