Second Street // Part Eighteen

        Second Street

        Part Eighteen

Andy had finished her wine, she gave Charlie a kiss on the cheek and bid him goodbye telling him not to be a stranger and come over anytime. He promised he would and thanked her for her company and help with Pam’s present. He was alone again. He did not enjoy this whatsoever. He poured himself a large Jack and put Enya on the CD player. He wished for some type of connection and this was the best he was going to do. He took his gift wrapped certificate and placed it on the boughs of his tree. With all the company for the past four or five days he was incredibly lonely. Sitting in this slum and having no contact, staring at the results of his contact with others, listening to his contact with others, dreaming and remembering just the same. He poured another large Jack and downed it quickly. He tried to take his mind away from the empty. He went to his kitchen table. He took his students papers and tried to work on them. The writings of these kids just made him more morose and he had to stop. He tried his journal.

He wrote of his weekend and how important it had been. It wasn’t about sex but so much more. He wrote of marriage. Andy and Danny’s and how dysfunctional things had become and about where and when it went wrong. Why they even bothered with one another at all. He knew Andy’s reasons. Unsure of the reasons Danny ever held in his heart? He really enjoyed Andy and it baffled him why people demoralize and belittle one another. Was it a power thing? Control? It seemed slavery to him. Why would you take a wonderful giving woman and turn her into a bitter termagant. What could be possibly achieved by this? He was lost. Here was a wonderful giving warm soul full of beautiful thoughts and ideas just trashed. It kind of tore him up. He started to really dislike Danny! The more he wrote the worse it got. He switched and started to write of Pam. His heart became warmer more understanding, more open. He thought of their weekend and missed her so much. He lit the tree and thought of her. He lit the candles, he thought of her. The bath brought new problems. More thoughts. He had a thought of Pam and Scotty staring longingly at each other and brought a grin to him.  What a soft and pleasant scene it had been. One loving gentle creature to another. He wrote lovingly of their time together. Longingly. He could hardly help himself being an English professor. This was his job and his language. It was meant for him to write and explain. He wrote of his ex and all she had meant to him. He poured another large Jack. Charlie was absolutely helpless when depression set in and his writing and lack of company was putting him in that place quickly. He paced about the house, looking out the windows, he tried reading. Nothing was working for him today. He put his coat on and headed for the car. The Mall was his objective, there would be a lot of people.

Once inside, Charlie felt better and that jittery feeling of earlier started to disapate, the jostling of the crowd comforting him. He saw a bench that was not full and sat down. He watched the world go by in spasms of humanity. Young children being corralled by their parents. Middle aged men being led by their girlfriends or wives, appearing ever so bored and wishing to be anywhere but here. He thought to himself, how fortunate these men were and didn’t even know it. He watched the groups of preteen and teen girls go by all giggling as there were some master secret only they knew. They chewed gum, their nails painted in a rainbow of colors, most not found in a rainbow. He watched wandering groups of young boys usually following the girls but at a distance so as not to be discovered. He laughed. The boys were sloppy, had bad haircuts, many with acne, their pants down around their knees, underwear on full display. He was baffled that this would attract the attention of anyone other than the fashion police. The thing he found most interesting was the chain attached to the wallet on so many of these boys. He wondered how much cash it took to chain yourself to it? He saw the elderly go by holding on to one another, trying to avoid being trampled by the groups of rude boys. There were Christmas carols playing over the mall’s sound system and the din from all the people talking was really a roar if you stopped to listen. The carols interrupted every so often with the announcement of a lost child or a store special.

He got up from his seat and joined the flow of people moving from store to store. The center aisles of the mall filled with carts and booths all selling this and that. He found you could buy sunglasses, bathtubs, lots of earrings, watches, trips to the Bahamas, perfumes and ever so much more without ever stepping foot in a store. Lord, you could even buy cars. He came upon a store called Puritan Clothing. It appeared to be a high end men’s and women’s store. He went in and wandered about. He actually was thinking of getting a gift for Andy. He found the women’s department and perused the tight aisles looking helpless. Displays seemingly stacked to the rafters with wonderful looking clothes. Mannequins dressed to the nines in beautiful combination. It was long before help arrived. A young sales woman approached, smiling. Good afternoon may I help you with something, she asked? Charlie smiled right back at her and said , please! I want to buy a present for a friend but have no idea where to start. The staff of this store were exceedingly well trained. The woman asked, do you know her size? No, he replied but she’s just a bit smaller than you but pretty much the same shape. Well that will get us started she said. Do you have amount you want to spend, she asked? Charlie said, why don’t you get me started and I’ll say when, ok? She smiled and said of course. She led him a few displays over to a big stack of sweaters. These are very pretty and warm, she said as she unfolded a cashmere sweater. These are made of the finest Mongolian cashmere. These are extremely soft and ever so warm. They come in four different types and a large variety of colors. Charlie looked at the pile and spotted a color he thought would fit Andy. He said how about this one, holding up a cream colored turtle neck? Very nice choice the woman said, let find her size. Will there be anything else, she queried? I don’t believe so he said. Give me a few moments and we will gift wrap this for you if you like, free of charge. Thank you that would be nice, Charlie said. The woman disappeared and Charlie wandered about. He suddenly spotted a beautiful Herringbone Tweed jacket. It was black and white. The woman returned with his purchase, handing his package to him. I would like one of these he told her. One that would fit over that sweater, ok?  Of course she replied and went digging for the right size. He asked, do you think that is a good combination? Oh my, yes came her reply. It is wonderful. Again be right back. Charlie was proud of himself, his first real foray into women’s wear! The clerk returned with his second package, she led him to the register and rang up his purchase. He paid and thanked her for her help and courteous way, making his way back to the crowds.

He was suddenly hungry and thought of El Torrito. He made his way to the end of the mall. He entered the restaurant, the hostess asking, table for one? No thanks, I’ll just sit at the bar and moved towards it. He found a seat near the service area and in front of the television. The bartender immediately brining a bowl of chips and salsa. Good afternoon, what can I get for you? Charlie thought for a second and decided he wasn’t that hungry but wanted something. How about a quesadilla and a Corona, he replied. Coming right up, the bartender said copying his order down. He took a sip of his beer and had some chips. Suddenly he felt a hand on his arm. It was Carmen. Why hello, how are you? Nice to see you back, she said, smiling at him. She was just stunning up close. Charlie grinned like a school boy and said, oh my so nice to see you again! I’m surprised you remember me? Carmen replied, I remember cute men and big tippers, giving him a wink. He actually blushed and she found this enchanting. Carmen, order up the bartender told her. She said, well so nice to see you again, don’t be a stranger. She disappeared before he could reply. His food arrived and he watched the news as he ate. He did not have a television at home and liked to watch the news. At least he thought so. Iraq bombings kill dozens, chemical weapons discovered in Syria, Iran on the verge of nuclear breakthrough, Egyptians rioting as tensions mount. Bosnian and Serbs locked in conflict. Twenty American soldiers wounded and killed in Afghan roadside IED explosion. He had to stop watching, hoping he would be able to tune out his hearing as well. He had another Corona and finished his food. He put a twenty and a ten on the bar waiting for the bartender to bring his bill. The bartender took his money and came right back with the change, breaking the ten into two fives. Charlie left one and got up to leave. He grabbed his packages , looking around to say goodbye to Carmen but she was nowhere in sight. Charlie made his way through the mall and to his car. He placed his packages on the seat next to him and headed home. He was relaxed now and felt human again. He slid his car into his driveway, locked the car and took his packages inside. He felt good about getting something for Andy, especially knowing it would be the only present she would get or had gotten in many years. He placed them under the tree. He got a glass of wine, retrieved Pam’s note and sat on the sofa just looking at the tree and the presents. As he sipped his wine he read and reread her note, looking at the envelope on the boughs of the tree, hoping she would like it and not be disappointed. He looked at Andy’s packages and felt great satisfaction. It was almost five and dark outside. He pulled down the shades, lit his candles and tree. Pam had left him some cd’s and shuffled through them. He found a Mellissa Etheridge. He had no idea who that was but thought why not. If Pam likes her , I probably will. He put the cd In the player and started it. As he listened he was taken aback by how powerful her voice was. Her lyrics equally as powerful. As he listened , he wished he had written some of these lyrics. “ I will crawl through my past , over stones , blood and glass in the ruins”, struck a particular chord in his mind and he played the cd over and over.