Consequence

A Story by David

Dark

It is sad commentary I bring here today. I wonder how many of you never received a kiss from your mother? Not one time ever? To me this is an incredible intentional slight. Never to have played a single game of catch with your dad. Never a conversation? Nothing but do as I say. Bend to my will. No thought to any thing except yard work. Never teach me anything or instruct.

Leave me abandoned and self sustaining at eight years old and finding the wisdom of so many others. So many others that an eight year old has no concept of. The attentions of the suspect. This mind is an incredible vacuum at this age. It absorbs all that is presented, no matter the subject. It will still trust and behave as such in the future. This mind does not separate concepts of legal, not legal, strange behaviour or not. This is a mind that will take an awful beating at the hand of a supposed loved one, trusted one, and go right on believing that the world turns as it did minutes ago. There is an incredible power of this mind, a displacement of rage and hurt while replacing this with forgiveness.

The incredibly sorrowful part of this mind is to be found down the street , around the corner, up the hill or maybe at the other end.

This young mind has no input he seeks at home so it is forced to escape and find solace, comfort, answers to questions yet to be thought of. It escapes deep into The Hardy Boys and dreams, fantasizes, and becomes Frank or Joe. Living with a loving family and having the most intense adventures. There are stories of incredible machines, one could feel the acceleration and smoothness of ride. The turn of the vehicle as it slides just a bit around the corner but holds the ground just right and comes to the bridge with an incredible feeling of sinking into the road and silence except for the hum of the motor, mezmorizing, and in a flash over the bridge. A slight downward push and shift into fourth.

There are the other dreams, the haunting hunted kind. The beatings with the belt, endless hours devoted to flipping the light switch on and off, another lesson unwanted. It is a terrible feeling to be afraid your whole life. To wait for that car to arrive in the driveway and wonder what was to come today.

What new slight could I have accomplished today?

The dreams of the drinking bouts and screaming fits nightly. Sometimes the dreams involved standing up and sitting down. Up, down, up down, up down just endlessly. No sleep tonight. Just up, down.

No hugs , no kisses, no kind words, no affection here, no sir. This wants to make this young mind pray for escape.

There is the family pet. A magnificent and noble creature. So many days spent crying into his mane. He would not move, just sit, understand and comfort. Never a judgement, only my welfare on his mind. My best friend , that beautiful collie.

There are the dreams of hiding under the bed or in the closet for hours trying not to be heard or discovered. If they can’t hear me they won’t see me!

Then come the dreams when the real seedy side of life exposes itself in all its’ dreadful glory. Here comes the pedophile to be your new friend, confidant, saviour, teacher and so much more. He has been waiting ten years for me. Ten long years to him. He is incredibly patient, sympathetic, attentive and knows just what to say and especially at those times most needed. He is clever, understanding, a pal, confidant when none other listens.

He is the dream that never stops giving and never forgets.