If Only

Inhale Taylor

please, please start to breathe

breathe taylor!

please my child, don't you give up on me

she yells with tears, 

as she faces every mother's,

deepest, darkest of fears

i try and try, 

and still, my lungs will not stir

only thirsty to drink

from the air that surrounds, her

yes, her, my beautiful dove

without her they will not breathe,

only wanting to absorb her love,

but that's why we're here, isn't it

because i broke her down,

i apologized, but she was done with it

and so here we are,

my life down the drain,

the doctors try so hard,

too bad, it's all in vain,

but the door opens, warmth returns in my heart,

i see tears on her face,

my lungs begin to start, 

she says, while holding me in embrace

im here taylor,

relax, and breathe in deep

i love you taylor,

like i know, that you love me,

If only that end, had not been a dream

Author's Note

feedback please

Reviews

[Truth_About_Rain]

"If only that end, had not been a dream"
That last line really stood out, and I loved it. The poem was vivid to me, but it never really 'called' until that last line, so unexpected yet... so... fitting!
Keep up the good work :D

[kdpgrahi]

I feel it to be too descriptive. But a lovely one.

[Allen Smuckler]

I was just about to say...Wow, that could have been about the birth of my daughter (which was very difficult)...until the ending, which I must say took me aback...Don't get me wrong..I still liked the write...just wanted a happier ending.
allen

[Omar Fendri]

An unexpected end of a longing one-sided love story, which warms the heart of the reader with anguish. The disability to breathe without her by your side is one of the most sorrowful images ever...
i like this stanza the most : ' thirsty to drink, from the air that surrounds, her'
well-written dude...

[Carrion.]

i like it :D

[Linear]

Take a deep breath and keep writing

:0)

[Helpless]

so many if onlys in life.
shows how seriously we should take our time here on earth.
we only have one chance. live life to the fullest. love is the most important thing in it.

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

This is eerie. You captured me from the beginning. I felt the rawness of this; the pain, the longing to breathe, to be loved. Just powerful all in all.
Great job!