A Breath of Fresh Air

The irony is that he died as he began making changes to his life. Deciding to quit cigarettes is a very big step for a smoker and is usually the beginning of an overall bettering of life. denied

walking, nonchalant, on the side of the street

lighting a cigarette, i inhale, in defeat

why? why do i erode my lungs

for this temporary relief?

relief from what?

walking with those that breathe?

standing among those living beings?

self reminder, do not hate them

you made your own mistakes, do not blame them

for living the life of good men's ways

for not throwing, everything away

walking, nonchalant, on the side of the street

dropping the cigarette, extinguished it with my feet

i take a breath, deciding that cig was my last

with new found freedom i inhale deep,

lungs full, smile on my face, i collapse,

dead, damn, a word from the wise, 

when you play with fire, it'll always burn your a*s

Author's Note

FEEDBACK, the more the better 8)

Reviews

[Lane-roe]

I love the rhyme scheme here, especially in the opening lines "walking, nonchalant, on the side of the street, lighting a cigarette, i inhale, in defeat". It gives the poem a playful tone, that contrasts well with the heavy topic. Great writing! :)

[Ian Faraway]

I like this poem...however I don't like the random death on the street, just doesn't make sense to me. And don't say 'the cig killed him' because it doesn't kill that fast....other than that, nicely written.

[ब्र&#..]

This was a really great poem!
alltid
-Meja Malina

[for my ♥]

...I laughed at the ending. This is wonderful. I enjoyed this.

[Omar Fendri]

'walking, nonchalant, on the side of the street ...' I can illustrate that image of an apathetic, dispassionate, indifferent man, marching aimlessly, the cigarettes in his hand is his only concern, and the thoughts rage around him with every puff of air... thoughts about life, unanswerable questions, self-culpability... A very realistic vision with which I can utterly relate... This is purely authentic and as always speakable.
'When you play with fire, it'll always burn (witho' S ) your a*s' .. I love this stanza dude... I adore it.

[Sweets]

This is wonderful!
I think it motivates smokers to stop smoking!
Very creative! and I loved the last line, it changes the mood of the whole poem!
Great work!
(adding to my favs!) :D
100/100

[kdpgrahi]

Moving towards a goal from confusion to a certainty, to a commitment. Really a good poem. But the flow can be more streamlined. The presentation requires to be a little sharp. I enjoyed the reading.

[Helpless]

great straight forward raw writing! excellent!