I Don't Want to Feel

For Ben...

I stand at the sink,

Stare at the mirror with unseeing eyes.

My corpse stares back at me,

Face almost as grey as your sweatshirt.

Why am I wearing your sweatshirt?

You keep hurting me.

I shouldn't find comfort in this.

I want to scream,

I want to be numb,

I want this all to be a dream,

Let it be a lie.

Tomorrow you'll come back, right?

You'll say Iloveyou with no spaces,

So there's no room for anyone else?

Just like always?

Don't say we've grown apart,

Help me fix it.

Help me fix my broken heart.

It's shattered in pieces on the floor,

But my unseeing eyes can't find them,

My cold hands shake too hard to pick them up.

I need you most when you don't want me.

Why don't you want me?

I've been trying so hard....

I just want to sleep....

I want to sleep forever,

Where I can dream of you,
And I can feel happy again.

Reviews

[mc0709]

"You'll say Iloveyou with no spaces,
So there's no room for anyone else?
Just like always?"

I have never heard that saying "Iloveyou" with nos spaces so there's no room for anyone else. I really like that play on spacing. I also picture you asking "Just like always" like a little kid, confused, hoping and pleading but knowing you won't be getting what you want.

[Kiara]

Thank you, and that's how I heard the "Just like always?" part in my head when I wrote it