Tutorial, cause i dont like the way you kiss

from a dream, nothing more.

 

I don’t like the way you kiss,

lips frightened, tense n rigid, but I like you.

 

So let me kiss you with softness, comfortable confidence

until that horrible purse lets go to gentle grins

that let me kiss you in the way kisses should be kissed.

 

Relax, don’t move till you feel the rhythm of mmmm, and breath,

then fight me for it, with no intentions of winning.

Reviews

[H.]

Damn it takes a search to find an honest poem around here, without those clich� rhymes and worn-out story lines.

It read smoothly. Little almost-rhymes and and ideas that simply go together were put together--fright and tension, a purse and a grin... I am especially fond of how "softness, comfortable confidence" rolls off my tongue if I pause just right at the comma. And that ending is quite witty. A fight you don't intend to win... There couldn't be a better situation than a kiss to which to apply such an analogy.

I was a little held up by "the rhythm of mmmmmm." I'm not sure how that's supposed to read. Maybe I'm not looking at it from the right angle. There were some grammatical and spelling errors, but meh--not that big of a deal. Overall, very well done. Rest assured this isn't the usual dribble one finds all too often on this site, winning joke contests and heralding misguided praise.

[Kelley]

Very sexy poem girl. I like your style. Leaves you wanting more.
Thanks for sharing.

Kelley