[untitled]

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IS THIS CRAP FFFFFFFFF Sorry. I was in an angry mood. But I'm all better now! C:

You know that feeling?

That really, really awful feeling?

The one that you get when you know you've done something wrong?

 

Yeah, the one where your stomach twists and writhes and you feel like you'll never feel anything but guilt and regret again and you know it's all your fault but at the same time it wasn't it was their's too they tempted you with their false smiles and soothing words and now you're broken and bleeding on the ground with no one there to help you up and you're slipping, sliding, falling from reality, falling away from the life you once knew with nothing to guide you back home but that faint pang of some emotion that you can't name everytime you see their face?

 

That feeling?

 

Because that's the way I feel when I see you. Why did you have to say hi to me all those months ago? Why did you speak to me; the lonely, broken girl who had dreamed big and lost everything? I was doing fine on my own but then you came along with your beautiful smile and your innocent eyes and I was captured like a bird in a cage the moment you shook my hand, told me your name.

 

I honestly thought I could make this work. I thought you would accept me for who I was, nevermind what everyone else thought, because you knew how it felt to be shunned because of what you wear, made fun of for speaking your mind. I really, truely thought you understood that and maybe, just maybe, you wouldn't turn me away like all the others did, leave me alone in the rain to watch my hopes come crashing down around me and swirl away down the gutter with the rest of the useless, unwanted crap in this world.

 

I love you.

 

Did you know that?

 

Did you know that when you turned me away, leaving me to cry and scream in the rain alone with no one to speak to but the other lost souls that YOU HELPED LOSE? Hmm? Did you know that? Were you aware of that tiny detail when you laughed at me in front of everyone? Just when I thought that maybe, just maybe, you actually thought of me as an equal, you slapped me across the face with your flaming words and I went down hard and you laughed and your friends joined in because they're all stupid, mindless idiots who can't think for themselves and they all take after you. Them with their decieving hearts and twisted lies that cut away at my sanity with poisoned knives and broken glass and watch me writhe in pain and remorse as I scream for the punishment to stop but it just keeps stretching on and on and now I fear I have lost my mind and you won't reassure me when that's all I really need to tie me back down to this Earth and keep me from floating away into space, lost forever.

 

Just tell me I'm okay.

 

Tell me that there's nothing wrong with me and you love me for who I am and that will never, ever change and no matter what happens you will always be by my side.

 

Please.

 

I need you.

 

Just tell me you care.

Author's Note

The content of this crap is not particularily true to life, I was just pissed off is all.

Reviews

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Wow.. now these are some pretty fierce emotions.. really good to get those out.. a rant can sure help in writing! Holding in such pain and anger is not good for your heart or mind.. I loved what you had to say here..and I know what you feel. I think so many times everyone feels a little or even just like this! Especially when you come across something that looks like a tangible hope.. and it lets you down.. people are human and they do it quite often! Sounds like if there is any reality like you really cared for this person.. it's so sad when we get deceived whether intentionally or not.

We find something that stands out.. a strength we admire.. we want it.. or want to be part of it so deeply inside. Not funny or cool to be made fun of in a group.. I have had it happen many times in past.. desensitizes the outside of most people but can make some more sensitive on the inside. It happens with friends, coworkers.. sometimes family.. So half the world gets tougher the other half just have to paint on harder exterior shells.. don't change your heart whatever you decide to do! Great job!