Back to Death

 

In a short time - you will see - I will become completely silent, I will be silent forever so that I can finally immerse myself in the redeeming Death... It will not be a good, complacent state at most, just another intermediate, temporary separation. Blind fate will soon dry up and torture my chubby face, like a mummy's. It erases the memories of "tabula rasa" judgments and tragedies I've suffered through, wasted loves, from my brooding eyes. And I, after many, many years, the former Egy-Kedves will believe without reservation that I was always hers alone!

It will not be necessary for me to prove and explain every day that it has become a necessary part of my life, like air. I feel now that he also has the memory of our happier, idyllic everyday life, which we could spend together and which marriage ended early. - Because every given, missed chance - if there was one - two chances are even the most dead ends. Because the one who forever turned his back on Death, rather hung with murderous defiance among the labyrinth of books - the unworthy will soon find that! Ouch! But how many times have I slyly faced my past misguided life; ,I love you!" his sweet and delicious echo-word pulsated like a burning ember on my cheek.

I am a moon-gazing, chased, miserable little animal, who would have greedily and stubbornly demanded selfless, worldly love, so that even in his unworthy selfishness he could open up to the one who truly loved him. And like staring animals, if they found each other, I would have called him in a whisper to the prison bars of my moonlit haunting room, so that he would lie in the creative, loving lap of home-shelter just for a little while longer - this is how we would have stood then: together with our backs to the valiant Death!