WAS IT WORTH IT?!

Like goblins woken up from their sleep, I squirm in the alley light during the day. I wonder: Did I make a mistake when I studied, acted, complimented - as I could read in many literary works, and quite a few highland diva-dame ladies failed. Disappeared dream ship goals, plans, alas, where have you sunk?!

Like the hurriedly pursued fugitives, it follows season after season, day after day, while the sure consciousness of mortality grows ever greater. Are all good intentions cursed?! I turn inward - not only when I shake the shackles of my battered past, but also when misplaced friendly words and gestures start to turn into dust in my complex present.

All bargaining is in vain! Human laws are rarely, if ever, faithfully followed. - In the Sisyphus maze of brainstorming, the propaganda pressure has thickened, just like the marcona force of the throats shouting at each other, which does not lead its wild beasts forward, and while - it may seem - the Hangman-Time is here, the man is really being excoriated by the w***e-w***e. weight of weekdays.

Stinky fish heads stink aimlessly no longer on the apparent bottom of garbage cans, but also in human heads, where once upon a time free thought could still be born; aggressive crocodile-eggs play chess with fame-Nobody just like influential Stroman robber-knights.

It must be an incomprehensible confusion that sometimes haunts me when it just feels like trampling the simple average down to the ground. Like the skin of an onion, the layers are now falling off at a varying speed, like Janus masks from the human soul. The continuous was-no-starts should also be rhythmized. There is hardly anything to do with the traveling circus of Being - it may be -; the reason for the tight-rope-dancing minutes is forgotten, and while a person drags himself with great difficulty through so many incomprehensible fates, happy-sad conspiracies, in the twilight of his life, he cannot really and completely know: Was it still worth it?!