LIVING THE USELESS FUTURE

You want to hurry it more and more. When you're a child you hysterically demand instant adulthood so you can be taken seriously. When you grow up you are often unable to decide which side you are on. And later, stumbling half a foot to your grave, you realize that you've been left infinitely alone, unable to let anyone worthy of you near you. At half-past three in the morning, you crawl up and down your room like a wandering spirit, because you want to scrape together the shattered fragments of the night, just like your ruined life.

As if you were the only one who felt that waiting, hoping, hoping was almost laughably absurd, grotesquely futile. It is demonstrably all-consuming, a black-hole mass, like most of the cat-and-mouse chess games forced upon you in everyday life. You can still hear the members of the drunken cyber-a*s generation, converted from discos, throwing bottles at the walls of houses, which become polluted, and the whole city resembles a huge flea market or a fairground where wolf laws prevail...

So you'd better get up and take a walk, because you can't sleep, and you're already permanently sucked in by your cocoon-maid. The rosy-fingered Dawn will only begin to dawn, in less than half an hour, and while your abandoned Beloved is consoling herself with someone else, you are still thinking and wondering whether you were wrong in the relationship or in the wrong place at the wrong time. Your immediate Reality, who has been in contact with you, has also been rshare with has also been against you for a long time, because it is always putting the precious water on the mill of others!