This is graceful & beautiful -- what a tribute to your sister (sorry for your loss). I lost my best friend about 3 years ago & I still feel him nearby all the time, sharing in all the things I do & helping me stay positive along the way. It sounds like your sister is helping you along the way too! Love this sentiment . . . best way to process grief (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you so much! My condolences for your loss as well. Writing is a great way to express and let y.. read moreThank you so much! My condolences for your loss as well. Writing is a great way to express and let your emotions out
Documentation
4/6/18
2:29 PM U.S. CST
"My Review of Her by Natasha, A Fellow Writer's Café Author"
by PB Jacobs (www.writerscafe.org)
Hey, Natasha!
So are you aside, or beside yourself? Is this what you're getting at? Kind of like looking at yourself from the outside in, while still being you, at the same time? I guess you are on the verge of something, huh?
And then I see you might be on the verge of something else, but this is internet, so who knows? So you kind of get reality, but not all that much, as you don't make it a point to figure you out that much? Is that it?
Yeah, I'm sure you've heard of me, and I'm sure you have a general idea, but, how do I know? It sound's like the subject of your poem does a lot of thinking. And isn't it funny how internet things can be all kinds of different things, but until you really zero in on someone's literary signature, and know it's really him or her typing...
Yeah, I'm an on and on and on, and I feel like banging a bunch of reviews out. At least the subject in your poem thinks about a few things. Simpleton Scruff, maybe...
"She’s there,
Always on my mind.
Sometimes I see her,
Sometimes I don’t." - I enjoy the possibility in these lines. I would only ask whether or not you intended on making every new line a new sentence. The capitalization really affects the way the audience reads and interprets the piece. Since I see you have periods throughout the piece, I would wager that the capitols in every line are unintentional. Something to think about.
"I visit her often.
Every holiday, every birthday.
She’s always in the same place,
surrounded by our loved ones.
I lay flowers by her stone" - at this point I'm really curious about the relationship the narrator has with this woman and the circumstances by which she's died.
"She visits me too,
Every now and again
To send me her love.
To promise me another time." I thought the ending was beautiful, not only in the way you've written in, but also because of the questions we are left with. I really enjoy pieces that leave the possibility for the audience to formulate many different stories.
Overall, solid piece. I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing. It's haunting in a way that's also palatable. Well done. Write on!
-Rynn
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
I tend to do that in all of my poems, the capitals in every line even if they aren't new sentences. .. read moreI tend to do that in all of my poems, the capitals in every line even if they aren't new sentences. I will work on that though. And thank you!
First of all, I am sorry for your loss. I love the the emotion from this piece. I flowed very well and it is very engaging to the reader. Very very good work.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thank you, I appreciate both your condolences and your complement!
This is graceful & beautiful -- what a tribute to your sister (sorry for your loss). I lost my best friend about 3 years ago & I still feel him nearby all the time, sharing in all the things I do & helping me stay positive along the way. It sounds like your sister is helping you along the way too! Love this sentiment . . . best way to process grief (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you so much! My condolences for your loss as well. Writing is a great way to express and let y.. read moreThank you so much! My condolences for your loss as well. Writing is a great way to express and let your emotions out
Nice flow of thoughts and I liked the story in your words. In dreams. We do meet old friends and family. Thank you Natasha for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote
People you love and pass on stay with you in one way or another.the stay in your mind and heart., wherever you go, they go with you.
this is a sweet story.your sister is part of you now and always