Tired of restarting my damaged life

Tired of restarting my damaged life

A Poem by Tasfia Islam
"

Trust is like a paper, once its crumpled, it cant be perfect once again....

"

Expectations, Expectations, and Expectations,
It leads me to nothing but frustrations

This trust, this belief and this blind wish
Breaks me down and makes life hellish

Its hard to return from the road I've hack
But still I believe that there's always a turning back

My tears slowly became invisible to everyone
No one even realize what I've been through until
my breath reaches the last one

I'm so scared cuz my life is not all mine
I shared it with many others
and that one person who gave me shine

All I'm feeling is useless dummy
Who can make promises but never keep them

I couldn't help myself, my love, my besty of even my family
But nothing works anymore even if I regret daily

My life is over at this point, nothing's gonna restart
I'm just a rotten garbage where noble people came as a part

But no one could fix me up, cuz in this big world, I'm just a lil failure
Now all I have is questions but no answers that y am I so dull???

© 2014 Tasfia Islam


Author's Note

Tasfia Islam
Hope u will like it......and please review...no matter if its good or bad.... I just more and more advices and suggestions......I know I have to learn more.....So, plz help me up....

My Review

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Featured Review

There's a lot of potential here that you just need to up your game to reach. "From the road I've hack" just doesn't make sense, and I found myself stopping here to try to understand meaning rather than continuing with the flow of your piece. "everyone" and "one" is a low level rhyme and it could be stronger. "Who gave me shine" Should be changed to "Made me shine". "All I'm feeling is useless dummy" the line after it doesn't rhyme while the rest of your piece does. Consistency is key, and this line also is worded awkwardly. Change "Lil", "cuz", "y" to Little, because, and why, because using terms like this makes you sound uneducated, which you clearly are not! Your topic choice is deep and emotional, and there's a lot of potential here, it's just about reaching it. Also remove the ??? because it also makes your work seem immature. I hope these suggestions and the advice helps, as I saw in your authors note that you were looking for help to improve. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

this poem has a strong sense of loneliness, emotional and a lot of feeling which is good. you select imagery that compliments the poem

Posted 10 Years Ago


Tasfia Islam

10 Years Ago

Thank you so much..... I'm glad that you liked it.... :)
well...not so dull..very creative :) & a nice image to go with this poem. Did you draw this, if you don't mind me asking..I really like images that have been created with pieces of writting.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Tasfia Islam

10 Years Ago

Nope, I didn't drew it.... But yeah, I paint...but not this one.....And I'm glad that u liked it...... read more
Hey Annabelle this is well done keep up the good work

Posted 10 Years Ago


Tasfia Islam

10 Years Ago

Thank you.... :)
Valkyrie Warrior

10 Years Ago

You're welcome

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383 Views
13 Reviews
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Added on November 19, 2014
Last Updated on November 22, 2014
Tags: :(

Author

Tasfia Islam
Tasfia Islam

About
I'm a girl......just a girl with lot of characters....I passed 15 years of my life and felt the sweetness and bitterness of this teenage.......Soon, i'll be 16 yrs......a lot of things are waiting for.. more..

Writing

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