Poignant and inocent, gave me the sensation of hearing the thoughts of someone who's been in love for years and still holds on, stronger than in the beginning, to that caring feeling, grateful and loveful. thanks for sharing.
Beautiful poem(as usual). I loved the words, imagery and rhyming you implemented into this. The word fluently is a fantastic word. This is the love poem to end all love poems!
This one is certainly filled with emotion and her reaching out, recapturing... I do have a suggestion... In this phrase...
You would sing for me in the rhythmic guitar
And teardrops ran out of my eyes in liter..
The word liter brings to the reader's mind.. trash thrown around.. also there is a large contrast between the sweet melody of his music and then trash..would you consider something like
You would sing for me in the rhythmic guitar
As the teardrops fell from the eye's flutter? or something similar that keeps the flow and sweetness of the music...
In this one which I love:
And u kissed my wet eyes
And the tears fluently dries try replacing the AND with As in the second line...
I never thought that it would be so real
You helped my heart wounds to heai (I think a typo) did you mean heal? instead of heai
And now I know the reason I love you
Is because its the perfect you.... (Love this finish... but perhaps (Is because of the perfection in you)
I loved feeling the emotions that created this.. Very nice job indeed.... I am in hopes that my suggestions do not offend you, they were meant that way at all...
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Never.... It can never offend.....In fact, I loved it... your suggestions are absolutely great..... .. read moreNever.... It can never offend.....In fact, I loved it... your suggestions are absolutely great..... I think I should and I will follow ur corrections.....And yes, it was a typo in the 2nd last stanza.... It will be heal. And the last line, Is because its the perfect you,,,, I wrote this to match with the title of the poem and create a connection.... :) And , I'm glad u liked it..... Thank you very very very much for the review . I'm one of ur fans.... :)
I'm a girl......just a girl with lot of characters....I passed 15 years of my life and felt the sweetness and bitterness of this teenage.......Soon, i'll be 16 yrs......a lot of things are waiting for.. more..