Flowers and death

They rest against the rim of the vase

With their yielding leaves watching the world

 

One touch shattered them

Their leaves plunged down the ground.

You separated them.

 

 

Their essence fled the bleakness, the severity, the roughness;

Of the world

They shuddered under the coldness that those entities

emitted on their way around them

 

 

They renounced this life

Their colors died away, sucked by merciless relinquishing  

and their leaves creased and stiffened

 

An innocent breeze would have turned them into dust

It would have carried them to far lands; lands where

The warmth of a caring hand and the voice of sweet lullaby

would have reincarnated them into more and more and more beautiful entities.

Reviews

[bookworm]

talk about a dark death

[kuru]

hmm this poem reminds me of old age and putting people in nursing homes and restricting their freedom...loved the last stanza

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

this is amazingly beautiful~ the descriptives paint themselves in full cinematic array~not just with movement but emotions~ there are so many layers I personally see within your poem that relates to the child I once was~but that is another thing~ what the heart of your writing here has done for me personally is paint the sky with light and the earth with new growth~gorgeous and such sensate writing~ in my library your poetic goes~ thank you for creating such beauty~

[Robin]

you have woven the emotion in this poem with visual eloquence , excellent writing

[Quinn Blackburn]

wonderful imagery! I love that closing stanza, it gives the hope of healing to this poignant piece.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

The imagerys was perfect! I could just visualize the beautiful flowers and then watch them fade away and die!

[Revolutionary]

perfect.the flow the image of flowers whithering as they fall.I see her on her knees seperating the pungent floral mess.Perfect

[Jeff]

Excellent work!

[Khaaki]

good one tariq... beautifully sad... the last stanza in particular digs deep...

[emmajoy]

That's sadly beautiful .. the feelings you've expressed are sensitive and appropriate because yes, that's what happens with flowers left by a graveside .. they become something different after a while .. that innocent breeze might well have carried that dust to - 'lands where ~ The warmth of a caring hand and the voice of sweet lullaby ~ would have reincarnated them into more and more and more ~ beautiful entities. '

(maybe remove that semi colon after the words: ' bleakness, the severity, the roughness )