I suppose I was bored, and you have to have a first post. Summer and Winter have been re-written (Summer was too focused on humans, and winter turned into a story, which I didn't really want it to be)
White earth, reflecting the moonlight Ignited in a white fire, cold as death Nothing quite compares to breathing ice. To look up as your breath becomes a cloud Expected numbness overakes you, as you stand in the frozen world Reddened face looks up to the snow-polished moon, as numbed toes take you home.
Soft grasses peek up from underneath ice as it melts away Petals, small and delicate start to bud from once-bare twigs Rain, too, brings new life from the once-frozen land I often wonder, if this earth is like the opposite of the Pheonix New again, after every frozen cycle. Generating new life, from cold death.
Swealtering under the sun, life flourishes Useful fruits, are bought and sold Many plants, reach their peak and then slowly wither in the heat Mason jars are used to preserve seasonal-freshness until cold months Everything is as vivid and colorful as you could imagine Ready to be plucked and eaten, like the fat tomato on the vine.
Freshly fallen leaves crunch under bootsoles All the land is colored in reds and golds, and deep evergreens Leaves, meant to be the new decay, become insulation for the coming months. Living things, using death, to survive until the new year.
I quite like this ^.^ you use some wonderful metaphors- 'snow-polished moon', and 'living things, using death, to survive until the new year'- very original.
There is a noticeable difference between summer and the other seasons, though. The others are more general in describing the outdoors, whereas you've narrowed the focus significantly to humans, and the effect of the weather.
I only noticed one minor error in spring- 'bear' should be 'bare'.
Overall it's a good write, (and I like how you used the colours to represent each season) : D
@munkiC munkiDU:
I see what you're saying (and yeah, Summer should be changed). Pff, no the twigs really were once bears. What are you talking about? (yes I will edit that) :P Thanks very much.
I quite like this ^.^ you use some wonderful metaphors- 'snow-polished moon', and 'living things, using death, to survive until the new year'- very original.
There is a noticeable difference between summer and the other seasons, though. The others are more general in describing the outdoors, whereas you've narrowed the focus significantly to humans, and the effect of the weather.
I only noticed one minor error in spring- 'bear' should be 'bare'.
Overall it's a good write, (and I like how you used the colours to represent each season) : D
I don't fancy myself much of a writer, but I occasionally write a little here and there. Mostly though, I read... and Lurk.
(got rid of the "What I'm reading/writing" because it was a bit cheeky.) more..